Mallrats Page #3

It's been up since two days

after Christmas. I want answers.

Ask one of the workers.

No, no, no. There's a soul

who might know what's up.

Willam.

- Willam!

- Uh-uh-uh... poopy trim.

Brodie, man. What's goin' on?

Do you work here now?

- No, man. Just hangin' with TS.

- 0h, TS.

- Willam, what are you doing?

- Looking for the hidden picture.

If you stare at these things long enough,

you're supposed to see a hidden picture.

- 0h, yeah, look! It's a sailboat.

- You saw it too? Damn it!

- What?

- I've been staring at this for a week,...

..and I can't see a goddamn thing!

- You gotta relax your eyes.

- Everyone sees this thing except me.

Today's my day.

I brought lunch and a soda,...

..and I'm not gonna leave until I see

this sailboat everyone talks about.

So, Willam.

Do you know what this

stage business is all about?

It's not a stage! I'm gonna see it

if I have to go blind trying.

No, man. This stage over here.

a game show in the mall today.

I think it's gonna be on TV.

It's called Truth or Date or something.

- That's Brandi's father's game show!

- What is it?

This cheesy Dating Game

rip-off for college kids.

Trying to capture

the '90s youth market with '70s television.

Man, why can't they bring back or

remake good shows, like BJ and the Bear?

There's a concept I like,

a man and his monkey.

Would you guys shut up?

You're breaking my concentration.

- Sorry, Willam.

- Now I have to start all over again.

- Good luck with that thing, Willam.

- Yeah, man. Remember, relax your eyes.

- Wow, a sailboat.

- Shut up.

Could this week get any worse? Now she's

gonna be auctioned off on TV from a mall.

Not a mall. The mall. Show some respect.

It doesn't have to go down

like that if we trash the thing.

There's a unique way of getting back in

her good graces - ruin her father's show.

I can get someone to do it for us. We'll be

blame-free and Brandi will miss the show.

- Who is this imaginary hatchet man?

- Hatchet men.

Knock it off!

Kitty, kitty, kitty!

- Hey, Jay!

- Brodie, man. Nootchy nootchies.

And look at this sh*t!

The mad fat-chick killer.

- I can't believe how fast word travels.

- Excellent. What's he doing?

Shithead watched

Empire and Jedi last week.

He's been trying to do

the Jedi mind trick.

Thinks he can levitate sh*t

with his thoughts. Knock it off!

- ''The Force is strong with this one.''

- Don't encourage him.

I was just saying we gotta find

Jay and Silent Bob.

If anyone can help us out, it's the two

guys who have less to do than us.

Everyone's lookin' for us today.

We're duckin' Tricia.

She wants to talk to

- Why him?

- Silent Bob's an electrical genius.

He won the school science fair by turning

Rate this script:3.0 / 2 votes