Major Payne Page #4

Well, maybe that's

because he's six.

'Cause he's six ? Woman, when I was

six years old I had a full-time job.

Well, I told him that you have

something that you'd like to say to him.

You think I owe you

an apology ?

Want me to take back some of those

mean and hurtful little things I said ?

Okay. I'm sorry

you're just a little turd...

that can't hold your liquid

out in public.

Now you get on outta my face

'fore I pick you up and

toss you out that window !

- Major, have you ever done

this kind of work before ?

Woman, under this here hat...

I've trained 20,432...

combat killin' machines.

Well, that's just my point.

You see, now you're

dealing with children,

and children have special needs.

Do you know what

positive reinforcement means ?

Is that anything like where you take

a P.O.W. and you snap his neck...

after you torture him, so he don't have

to go through life with a colostomy bag?

Sort of.

I'd like to

make a suggestion.

Why don't you and I

become partners...

in the emotional growth and development

of these little ones ?

What do you say ?

Will you be my big helper

and help me do that ?

- Yes.

- Good !

Why do I feel

like a jackass ?

Ha ! Look at that baldy !

Hey ! Your head's

shaped like a bowling ball !

Nazi, fascist pig !

I know where I'm gonna shave him !

Damn Major Payne !

I didn't want you

to be brother !

Most of the body heat

travels through the head,

and if I'm sick,

I'm gonna start throwing up.

That damn Payne's already

starting to get on my nerves.

Turd this, turd that.

Who he think he is ?

Just shut up.

You tellin' me to shut up ?

Why don't you shut your damn mouth...

and stop eatin' all that

damn candy, you fat pig ?

I look like Curly

from "The Three Stooges."

Did I say you

could touch my bed ?

- No.

- Get off.

Ow !

Payne's gonna kill us.

You know I have a heart condition.

I'm not sure he's familiar

with my medical history.

Let's go, let's go,

let's go ! Come on !

Move it ! Saddle up

that horsey and ride !

You ever hear of knocking,

Dotson ?

You won't have to worry

about that anymore.

I have good news

for you, a**holes.

Pack your bedding, your kit

and your clothes ! Let's go !

Where to ?

Hello, cue balls !

Welcome to the house of Payne.

He's gotta be joking.

The squad that lives together,

wins together.

Unity, turds.

That is the key word

in "unit," without the y.

Tiger, Leland,

you will reside

at the R.O.T.C. buildin'.

The rest of you garbage,

grab a rack and settle in.

grab a rack and settle in.

Let's move out.

You eyeball me again, I'll snatch it out

and put it in Heathcoat's cookie bag.

It's so damp.

What about my allergies ?

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