Major Payne Page #5

You know how far we are

from the kitchen ?

- Why can't I stay here ?

- 'Cause I said so.

Major Payne, sir.

What ?

Sir, I think I speak for everyone

when I say that this place is...

unacceptable, sir.

Really ?

Love my barracks night and day

Love my barracks

night and day

Won't complain

That's where I'll stay

Won't complain

That's where I'll stay

- Good plan this time, Alex.

- Why don't you shut up ?

All right, my little

patch of Brussels sprouts,

uproot yourselves, climb out

the pool and get some rest.

You're gonna need it.

Tomorrow, ladies,

we gonna start

the hard stuff.

- The hard stuff ?

Let's move it, you turds !

You'll get no sympathy

from me !

You want sympathy, look in the

dictionary between sh*t and syphilis !

That's where

you'll find my sympathy !

This ain't no walk in the park !

Move it ! Hustle, hustle !

Hey, Dumbo ! You should be able

to fly through those tubes...

- with them big-ass ears, boy !

- Yeah, Dumbo ! Fly, baby, fly !

Hey, Williams ! You tell

Marlee Matlin's son...

if he don't get across that rope,

I'm gonna hang him with it !

He'll hang you with it !

Ha-ha-ha !

Heathcoat !

You get your fat body

over that wall !

- Take your fat,

pork chop body over that--

- You-- You shut up.

Nobody's leavin' here until

the average for this squad...

is one minute,

twenty seconds !

Come on, he can't do it !

Leave him alone.

I can barely do it.

It's slippery out here.

Slippery, he say !

You think Charlie care

anything about slippery ?

Only thing he knows

is slit your throat.

What if this was

a life or death situation ?

But it's not

a life or death situation.

- It is now.

One Mississippi.

Two Mississippi.

Come on, guys ! What, are you crazy ?

It's just a dummy grenade.

Come on, guys ! What, are you crazy ?

It's just a dummy grenade.

- Damn ! Oh !

Who's the dummy now ?

So what is it, exactly ?

Concentrated dithiazanine.

- What the hell is that ?

- It's like a super-laxative.

This here'll pack enough punch

to take out an entire football team.

Payne'll never

get off the can.

He'll be makin' beef stool

'til graduation.

- Yeah.

- All right. Payne'll

never know what hit him.

Kill !

Major Payne, sir ?

Can't you see

I'm eatin', turd ?

There's a call for you, sir.

He's coming !

He's coming !

Mmm. Mmm.

Hmm.

- Ready !

- Damn !

He nearly put you in a coma.

- Ready on the firing range !

- It can't be legal the way

he's been treating us.

- Turds, commence firing !

- Let's just tell Phillips.

- Nah, that senile old fool

ain't gonna help us.

What kind of shootin' is that ?

Hey ! Hey, dummy !

What's the matter,

you can't see, either ?

We gotta get rid of

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