Major Payne Page #3

- Yeah, brother ?

- Why don't you come closer.

I... am not...

your damn brother !

Now drop down, give me

One, sir.

What are you lookin' at,

ass-eyes ?

- Nothing, sir !

- You plottin' on me, boy ?

- No, sir !

- Well, let me

tell you somethin', ass-eyes.

Let me tell you all somethin':

War has made me very paranoid !

And when a man

gets to eyeballin' me,

it make my Agent Orange act up,

and I get the urge to kill !

- Do you understand me ?

- Sir, yes, sir !

- Do you all understand me ?

- Sir, yes, sir !

- I can't hear you.

- Sir, yes, sir !

And what is your damage,

muscle-head ? You stupid ?

You ignorant, or you

just plain ol' deaf ?

Yes, sir.

Actually, he is deaf.

Oh. Thank you.

Now drop down,

give me 25 more...

for speakin' out of line !

- One, sir.

- I'm sorry, Mr. Handicapped Man.

I didn't mean to offend you.

Do you speak sign language ?

Can you read lips ?

Let me break it down.

If you don't answer me

when I speak to you,

I'm goin' put my foot in your ass !

Is that clear, dummy ?

Sir, yes, sir.

Hold on, guys.

Wait-- Oof !

Wait !

Hey, guys !

Don't start without me !

Come on !

Wait ! Hold on.

Comin'.

Hello, gorgeous.

Welcome to my party.

You know, you're out of

uniform there, Mr. Fonzarelli.

Yeah, well, uh, l-l like

this look better, General--

- Admiral-- whatever.

- It's Major, boy.

Oooh. Looks like...

we got another major

on our hands here, guys.

- Oooh !

- Ha-ha !

- Major, ooh, a major !

What's your name,

girlie-mouth ?

Uh, Cadet Alex Stone, sir !

Yes, sir !

Heigh-ho, sir !

Well, I'm glad to see

you got a sense of humor.

So do l. Heh-heh-heh.

From now on, my little group

of scrotum sacs,

you will strive

to be like me.

You will walk like me,

talk like me,

and until you win those games,

you will be bald like me !

Way to go this time, Alex.

Dotson, take these men

for two hours of P.T. !

Yes, sir ! First

exercise will be the side straddle hop !

- Side straddle hop.

- Squad. Ready.

One, two, three.

Come on, bacon-boy !

Come on !

- Ready, squad !

- Dotson, sit down and shut up.

I'm writin' you up, buddy !

That's it. No more of this !

I'm writin' you up, buddy !

That's it. No more of this !

You're scaring me !

Hello, Miss Walburn.

Major Payne, could you please

help me to understand...

why you shaved

the children bald ?

Oh, that's my little

incentive program.

These boys have to

earn their due.

Their hairdo, that is.

Heh-heh-heh.

Do they have to earn

their bathroom privileges too ?

What do you want,

Mister Pee-body ?

Oh, he's upset about this morning.

Apparently he had a little accident.

Apparently he pissed all over

the front of his pants.

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