Major Movie Star Page #4

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- You forget something for a dance tonight?

Get off my bus. Move, move!

- Okay. Okay.

- Get off my bus.

Let's go! Move it!

Princess Buttercup. Move your feet.

Move your feet, Petunia.

- Hey, say it, don't spray it.

- Move, move, move. Move those feet.

Move, move, move!

Yes.

You better get your S-H-l- consolidated ASAP

or you will be SOL PDQ.

Do you understand me?

- No. I have no idea what he just said.

- This is not a slumber party.

- Get your game face on!

- This is so not my vibe.

What happened to, like, the cute little

rock climbing outfits and the sisterhood?

You will stand at attention!

Put your bag down!

- Shoulders back! Eyes front!

- Look at me!

Now, when I address you,

your response to me will be,

"Yes, Drill Sergeant."

Do you understand?

Why didn't you tell me

my mascara was running?

- Now say it like you got a pair.

- Yes, Drill Sergeant.

- Here. This will take the edge off.

- What do you think this is, a rehab facility?

I don't do drugs! My body's a temple!

Did you think that bus was going

to a Phish concert? Put that away!

Now, listen up.

This is your First Sergeant, Louisa Morley.

She'll be overseeing your training here

at Fort Jackson.

You will address her as First Sergeant.

Certainly have hit a new low,

haven't we, Sergeant Evans?

Yes, First Sergeant.

- Name, soldier.

- Jeter, First Sergeant.

Don't I know you?

Proudly served as sergeant at Fort Benning.

Traded my stripes in for marriage.

That fell through.

Came back for the love of my country,

First Sergeant!

A woman scorned is a good soldier.

Welcome back, Private Jeter.

- What's your name?

- Ma'am, Petrovich, ma'am.

"Ma'am"? I worked hard for my rank, Private.

You will address me as First Sergeant.

- Are we clear?

- Yes, First Sergeant.

Are you about to cry?

Ain't no crying in the Army, baby girl.

'Cause I ain't got time

to be changing no diapers. Are we clear?

Yes, First Sergeant.

- Did I just catch you eyeballing me?

- No, First Sergeant.

Am I attractive to you?

'Cause I'll only break your heart, sweetheart.

- Name, soldier.

- Private Castillo, First Sergeant.

What are you? Huh?

You some kind of gangbanger?

What you gonna do?

What, you gonna cut me, mommy?

Is that what you gonna do?

You gonna cut me?

- No, First Sergeant.

- I got my eye on you, Casti-ho.

This is the United States Army.

We will tolerate nothing but...

Excuse me? Excuse me? Hi.

This is really embarrassing.

Sorry to interrupt, but I'm Megan Valentine.

- The actress?

- Hey.

See, this really isn't what I was picturing

when the recruitery guy was telling me

about me finding myself.

Really? Well, come on over here

a second, sweetheart.

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