Madame Page #6

---

Asturias. I thought

it was Asturias.

My ancestors were

from Asturias.

See, I'm Celtic like you.

Where is your family from?

Oh, well my family is from a

very lovely county called Downe.

My father owns

most of it. You know.

He always wants me

to get my art hobby

out of my system and come back

and run the family estate.

You came here to

escape your father.

Well, I came to London

to be an artist.

But I wind up

being a consultant.

So I spend my life

now flying between

hotels and New York

and Paris and London.

To be fair I don't know

where my real home is.

Probably because

it's still in Dine.

- Dine? Downe.

- Dan.

- Downe.

- Dine. Downe.

Dine. Downe.

Up down.

Maria? Sorry, David. I'm

stealing her for a minute.

Don't drink too much.

No, sir.

Madam told me

what to do.

And what not to do.

What's with

this silly idea.

You must be dying here.

It's like me sitting in

a plumber meeting.

I was supposed to

sit close to madam.

But I think somebody

mixed up the place cards.

This scary fashion lady

must be here.

Don't talk like a maid.

Just yes or no

at the end.

Be really impossible.

Unpleasant.

- Yes, sir.

- DAVID:
Hey, Bob!

Maria's got some great jokes.

I bet you didn't know that?

No. I did.

Yes. She was just

about to tell me one.

Madam Bernard, would you like

to hear one of Maria's jokes?

HELENE:

Yes. Of course.

Don't force her.

She's embarrassed.

And very shy.

I'm very unpleasant.

DAVID:
Oh, come on.

You're very funny.

We're all friends here.

Who'd like to hear a joke.

- Oh, no.

- DAVID:
Come on love.

Everyone's funny with

a Spanish accent.

The only joke I know

is very vulgar.

My uncle, Pedro, used to

tell it when he was drunk.

I don't think

it's appropriated.

Oh, no, don't bother.

Don't force yourself.

Come on. Live a little.

Tell us a joke.

Okay. You want it.

You have it.

A family's at

the dinner table.

The son asks the father, "Dad, how

many kinds of b*obs are there?"

The father surprised,

answer.

"Well my son, a woman

goes through three phases:

"In her twenties, a woman's

breast are like melons.

"Round and firm.

"In her thirties and forties

they are like pears.

"Still nice but

hanging a bit.

"In her fifties,

they are like onions."

"Onions, Dad?"

"Yes. You see them

and they make you cry."

(EVERYONE LAUGHS)

HELENE:
Hilarious.

Wait. I didn't finish yet

because I'm translating

straight from the Spanish

in my head.

This one's amusing. She just

like Google translator.

The daughter asks

the mother:

"Mom, how many kinds of

willies are there?"

The mother answers.

"Well my dear, a man goes

through three phases too..."

Love the voice of

the wife. Keep going.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes