Madame Page #7

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"In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree.

Mighty and hard.

"In his 30s and 40s, it's like a

birch tree, flexible but reliable.

"After 50, it's like

a Christmas tree."

"A Christmas tree, Mommy?"

"Yes.

"Dead from the root up and the

balls are just for decoration."

(EVERYONE LAUGHS)

JANE:
That's a rude joke.

It's not even funny.

I have a better one about (SPEAKING

SPANISH) Do you want to hear it?

No, that will be fine.

Thank you.

ANNE:
I think that's plenty.

Thank you. You're so...

She's so funny.

STEVEN:
I can understand now why my dad

is making so much progress in french.

Bet he took one look at you and said

I want to learn French immediately.

No.

His wife forced him

to learn

la langue de Moliere.

Thank you for this.

It's become my

instant favorite.

So you're the revenge.

I don't get it.

STEVEN:
She used to

be his golf teacher.

So, what do I need to wear

to look more Parisian?

MARINETTE:
Women are

always asking me that.

ANTOINE:
(SPEAKS FRENCH)

No one can buy that.

That's why I'm asking

for your advice.

ANNE:
Oh, I love what you

did with the issue by the way.

HELENE:

Oh, I try my best.

MICHAEL:
As my grandmother always say,

tell the truth it's easy to remember.

You know, in therapy I hear so

many lies, contradictions...

But even your lies say

something about you...

STEVEN:
Um, yeah.

I'm going to marry you.

And what makes you

think I'd say yes.

Are all women

mad about you?

The night is young.

So sorry for

ignoring you buddy

but this girl next to me

is really sexy.

It's okay.

I'm used to

not talking.

You know,

with Fedor.

Go and get her.

Cheers, buddy.

High five.

I'm not insured

for high fives.

No?

Are you allowed

to touch b*obs?

I guess so but I've never

had the opportunity.

I hope I'm not

being to forward.

I'd just like to say,

you look absolutely

beautiful tonight.

Thank you.

How long have you

been in Paris?

How long have you been

sleeping with my dad?

Are you crazy?

I'm just his teacher.

Look at you.

Your dad.

Makes you sound

so childish.

STEVEN:

You look like a child.

I'd really like to

spank you.

- (SCOFFS)

- (LAUGHS)

But your dad warned me that you were

rude, alcoholic and unemployed.

Yeah, but I also have some really bad

points. Did he tell you what those were?

You look very elegant too.

- Well, I'm the best in my price range.

- (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

- STEVEN:
Fanny you're going to be my new mother in law.

- FANNY:
Shhh!

It's like you and your dad are

the only two men on the planet.

Oh, I see.

Why would you want the egg when

you've already got the goose.

I don't want the goose

and I don't like the rotten egg.

Actually.

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