Mad Families Page #5

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Leave me alone!

There's gotta be

a 24-hour place in town.

Oh, my God.

What a fricking beginning.

What the hell was that?

Fricking pina...

Oh, my God, oh, my God,

oh, my God!

What did you do?

- You scared the crap outta me!

- Oh, my goodness.

Okay, okay,

this is not what it looks like.

- You killed them both?

- No, no, no, no, no!

This piece of sh*t dumbass

hybrid makes no noise, and...

All right. You gotta help me

get them to a vet.

You drive and I'll give them

mouth-to-mouth.

I mean, mouth-to-snout.

What the hell did

they do to Ocho?

Who would do such a thing?

- Them...

- Come on.

- Hey, man.

- Hey! What?

- What the heck did you do to our dog?

- Look!

Nobody do nothin' to your dog.

What are you talking about?

What do you mean do nothin'?

Oh, sh*t. Chaka!

- What did they do to you?

- What happened to my baby?

What did you'll try

to do to my baby?

Hey, man, we didn't touch

your dog. You busted ours.

- Yeah, we love dogs, man.

- Look at our dog.

It's...

If y'all didn't touch our dog

and we didn't touch your dog...

Wake up, white people.

Okay, all right, heh...

Just... Just hear me out.

I am so... sorry.

It was an accident.

I swear.

I just wanted some Benadryl.

- Crazy white man.

- What, man?

I have no idea.

Come on, man, what are you doing?

I want a freakin' refund or something.

They seem pretty worked up.

Yeah, if this turns

into a race war,

we'll be pulling out paperwork

for a decade.

You people...

This is the 4th of July.

This is the day we honor

how our great nation declared

its independence

from the king of England.

Do you happen to even know

how George Washington

celebrated his final victory

over the British at Yorktown?

That day great day, hmm?

He issued his troops,

a double ration of rum.

Here we are. We had...

fought this bitter war

against a tyrannical foe.

And, all we did to celebrate it,

is that we drank.

Four fingers of booze.

Instead of two.

That's about a martini

and a half.

In case you were wondering

what four fingers was.

Today... if a kid happens

to throw his poopy diaper

into the hamper, the parents,

they go ape-sh*t,

and they throw the kid a party,

and give him a PlayStation.

Gosh, he drinks like me.

I don't really see...

This issue between you people

as a problem.

I see it as an opportunity

to get away

from what the 4th of July

has become.

Which, let's face it, is just

a couple of days off work

for all the lazy people.

We have become a nation

of soft, puffy, p*ssy people.

And, we have forgotten

the sacrifice of those

who have come before us.

And, so, in my opinion,

whoever wants camping site 16...

you're gonna have to f***in'

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