Love Stinks Page #5

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Are you leaving?

If you don't love me,

it's better I know right now.

But I never said

that I didn't love you.

The words every woman

dreams of hearing.

It's all right. Maybe I'm

just not the girl for you.

- But maybe you are.

- Maybe. Way to commit.

Wait.

I love you.

- Do you mean it?

- I think I mean it.

It you don't know you mean it,

don't say it.

Then I mean it.

Say it again.

I love you.

Again.

Louder.

All right?

Why didn't you just say it

in the first place?

I tensed up.

It's a guy thing.

You see what happened?

Every time Chelsea says...

- I love you.

- You are required by law to say...

I love you too.

And that changes everything.

This might be the best idea

I've ever had.

Ronnie needs an operation.

Juliet walks in on him.

He's getting a sponge bath from

some hot nurse I could help cast...

- The hospital show?

- Come on.

I did not say "hospital show."

- How dare you talk about Chachi.

- I know a lot about Chachi.

People! We're doing

our first 13 episodes.

We cannot steal old plots.

That's right.

Until we get picked up

for the rest of the season.

Then we'll just check

old TV Guides and phone them in.

It's not "the hospital show."

It's the "sponge bath show."

- I need to talk to you.

- What's wrong?

I'm gonna go take a sponge bath.

I'm sorry.

It's an emergency.

Tell him you love sponge baths.

My God, honey, what happened?

Gracie ran away.

Gracie the cat?

Yes.

I'm sorry, honey,

but isn't that a cat thing?

They have their little adventures,

they come home.

This is not "a cat thing."

She has never done this before.

You have to help me

look for her.

Honey, I'm under the gun here.

We need a story

in like a half hour. So...

So what are

all those writers for?

What is more important,

my cat or a stupid sitcom?

Let me see.

There's your cat...

that makes me gasp

for oxygen...

and my body break out

in a horrible rash...

or my livelihood.

Come on, kitty.

That's not how you call her.

She's used to it a certain way.

Now listen.

No, listen to me!

- You are not paying attention!

- I'm trying, honey.

Are you telling me the cat won't

respond unless her name is...

properly enunciated?

Don't give me any sh*t!

This is your fault!

So it's my fault

your cat ran away?

Yes.

Every night...

poor Gracie watched me

pack an overnight bag...

with a sad look

on her sweet face.

Then I would leave her all alone

because of your dumb allergies.

She thought that

I didn't love her anymore.

So she left,

rather than be a burden.

Maybe we should

just respect her wishes.

That is not funny.

I can't stay in my house...

without Gracie.

There's too many memories.

So I'm moving in with you.

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