Love at First Bite Page #3

the sun sets at...

7:
52, master.

By 7:
53, I want to know

where Cindy Sondheim lives.

But not for long. Right, master?

You can go in now.

Didn't I see him on Fantasy Island?

Now, you expect me to introduce my most

successful model to your employer...

this Count something.

- What did you say his last name was?

- Dracula.

- Count Dracula?

- Correct.

- The Count Dracula?

- Yes.

Bob Evans from Paramount sent you,

didn't he?

I mean this is a joke, right? It's a gag.

Crazy Bob, what a lug.

No. I'm not joking.

My master would like very much

to meet Miss Sondheim.

I'm sure he would be willing to give you

a commission if you could arrange it.

How much of a commission?

Well, he might make you a colonel

in the Royal Transylvanian Army.

That is, when the next

free elections will be held.

All right, you freak.

You have 30 seconds to get out

of my office or I call the security guard.

You have 30 seconds to tell me

where Miss Sondheim is or...

Or what?

You will eat your lunch in my office?

No, my lunch will eat you.

What is that? Oh, my God.

Central Park, 9:
00. Christ!

Pose like that. I like that.

You're angry. You're not angry.

You're a happy woman.

Now you're angry.

Smile.

Beautiful. Little to the left.

Pet the dog.

Smile.

Come on, buddy. Step back.

I've come a long way to see her.

You and about 1,000 other schmucks.

Now, step back, buddy.

What the...

Get that dog!

Hold still, Cindy. He's not going to bite.

Hi. What are you doing here?

Stop that. That tickles.

Would you stop it?

You're cute.

- Come on.

- Wait. Hey!

Nobody pees on New York's finest.

Right to the dog pound.

Renfield.

You will do two things in the morning.

You will locate Miss Cindy Sondheim...

and you will go to Dunhill Tailors,

and buy me three new tailcoats.

Yes, master.

Better make that six.

This city is like living in a jungle.

They drove me too far tonight.

Don't worry, master.

I'm sure you'll meet her someday.

It's not that.

It's the $8 I had to pay for

this lousy dog license to get out of there.

I'm going out to get a bite to drink.

If you are hungry, master...

we could ring for the night maid.

The roof, please.

Morty, I love you.

- Morty.

- Yeah, honey.

Honey, how many times

do I have to tell you, if you want to do it...

off with the cufflinks.

Cufflinks?

I'm not wearing any cufflinks.

Well, then what's scratching my neck?

Morty, what is it?

It's my first wife.

I told you the check's in the mail.

You freaking skinny-legged yenta.

That's it.

No more Mr. Nice Guy.

Why don't you go to work, old man?

We have nothing to eat.

We do now. Look, a chicken!

A black chicken.

Boil the water.

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