Lost for Life Page #5

all the time that there's never

an end in sight or it's

never... it's hard to

imagine how we're going to spend

our life doing this and I'm just

overwhelmed today a

little bit. It's just hard.

My brother is going to

be 26 years old this year,

and he will have spent ten

years, a decade, in prison.

And it's a commitment to stay in

somebody's life with

that circumstance.

The majority

of families forget about them;

I refuse to.

On November 6,

2002, Stacy and Gary Alflen

were shot to death in what many

say was the couple's dream home.

In opening statements,

prosecutors painted the killers

as cold-blooded who

"killed for fun,"

maintaining that Josiah

Ivy acted as the gunman.

My parents visit

him every week, too.

He's chosen to forgive and

he's just so very grateful

of my parent's relationship

and willingness to commit

to visiting him, to be

interactive in his life,

and they have a great

working relationship.

What do you mean they

have a great working relationship?

What I mean by a great

working relationship is that

he's not embittered by anything

that happened in our childhood.

No, my parents spanked

us when we were kids.

I don't know if these days

that's considered abuse

or not, I didn't really look

at it like that.

Okay. Okay, so,

maybe, yeah, there's,

I guess there's some stuff I

really don't want to talk about,

at least not on camera, you know?

But...

I don't ever talk about it, no.

As far as our childhood, it was...

my parents regret a lot of it

and I think they would do

things very differently now

but can't go back in the

past and Josiah has

forgiven my parents.

I know you used the word,

but did you guys

grow up in a cult?

Yeah, when we were younger

we definitely grew up in

a religious cult.

I will tell you, I don't

think... I don't like

remembering our old home.

At the end there...

you know, before Josiah was

going to be sent away.

And you walk in every room

and you have

memories of things that

you'd rather not have.

Do you feel like I'm

still being closed?

I think you're being

as open as you're capable of being.

On the abuse stuff, yeah.

Just...

How old were you when

your stepfather molested you?

Four. Four, five, six.

A little bit of it,

it's still something very

easy to run away from

and not address and not confront.

The brain is a beautiful mechanism

keeping stuff like that shut out.

How long did it go on?

Did your mom know

about it? Did you

ever tell anybody?

No, God no. I never told

anybody about it.

Can I ask what they did to you?

It's not really something

I like talking about at all.

My daughter started

telling me about this weird kid

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