Lost for Life Page #4

teenager who is serving three life

without parole sentences in Illinois.

He got mandatory

sentences for Nancy and Richard

but for the baby he got

an optional life sentence.

Nancy was crossing her arms

over her pregnant belly.

He pointed the gun and

fired, and he hit it.

Hi, Jenny.

Hi, Nancy.

How are you?

My ability to be

Nancy's sister in the world is

entirely about she was murdered.

I cannot be her sister

and not care about that. The

discovery that there was a

movement to free Nancy and

Richard's killer was shocking

and horrifying to me. I actually

think that that has motivated me

more than anything, never to

have any legal finality at all

to your case. I was awake all

night for four straight months

I was so traumatized by this.

I cried all the time, I was worried about

it, I couldn't think, I just thought,

"God, if I have to spend

the rest of my life like this

and my children and my mother,

don't you care about the victims

at all? Doesn't this

worry you at all?"

It's at that point that I

realized how absolutely

clueless they are about

the cost of victimization.

I have thought

so often as I have been

down in this basement

where they died,

"Was she angry?

Was she puzzled?

Did she wonder why he had

killed her?

Was she lonely, was she cold?"

It's something that comes over you

when you're down here

but life goes on.

Sometimes you forget

why, but we go on with it.

Brian didn't

want us to know how much

pain he was in, and he kept that

very separate from our life

with him and the family's

life with him.

He just didn't want us to know

how much pain he was in.

That's the thing

that kept us up at night

the most for the longest

amount of time,

is trying to find... trying to

remember something that we missed

We adopted Brian at

birth. When I think about

our relationship and how

strong of a relationship we had

with Brian and how...

good of a

relationship we had with Brian,

if you walked into

our house back then,

we were normal.

And why we didn't

recognize that we had...

such a problem...

is horrific and

something we still cannot...

bear.

Sorry.

Hello.

This call is subject to

monitoring and recording.

I just had an emotional

visit yesterday; it was really

hard to come here alone. It's

always hard to go to a prison

and it's hard to walk down the

gates and to be buzzed in,

and to wait, and to go to

the searches, and then

just to imagine doing this

forever until I'm dead,

everybody involved is dead

except for Torey and Brian.

They will outlive the

prosecutors and the

families and everybody

and there will be...

it will still be going on.

It's just very overwhelming

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