Life Partners Page #5

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annoying Erin Brockovich?

"These are my b*obs, Ed."

That's not the quote. Yes, it is.

I'm pretty sure it is.

I'm pretty sure it's not the quote.

It is so.

Well, anyway, I found a life-size

cardboard Julia Roberts on eBay,

and I'm gonna glue

Paige's face on it...

and throw her a little

surprise party tomorrow. Oh!

Are you guys free? Totally.

Actually, I was supposed

to have a date with this girl...

who's been writing me online

like every single day,

but then she... she just told me she got

back together with her ex-girlfriend,

so that's awesome.

It's like...

Yes, I'm free. I'm free.

Great. Okay.

So, 8:
00 at my place?

Hey, Sasha. Mm-hmm.

That chick with the purple dick

is totally checking you out.

You should go sword fight her.

Oh. Uh, I think I need like five

more drinks before I do that.

Jen, I think we have a drink.

Do we not?

- Here you go.

- Here we go. Kick it down. Drink it.

I just found that, by the way.

She didn't, I swear.

Now, go sword fight.

Will you please

stop saying "sword fight"?

Only when you sword fight her.

Sword fight! Sword fight!

Sword fight! All right.

If either of you put this on

YouTube, you're dead to me.

I accept this duel.

Yeah! Whoo!

Oh, sh*t. It's 1:00.

I gotta go walk my dog.

Mmm.

I know that

I was drunk last night,

but I don't remember

seeing a dog.

No. He lives with my ex.

She and I just share custody.

D-Do I hear someone

in your house?

Oh. Yeah. My mom just got home.

- Hi, Mama!

- Hi, sweetheart!

Oh, I thought

this was your house.

I wish.

I'm still in school.

Please tell me

that you are not early,

because I'm so not ready yet.

Actually... Don't kill me, but can

we reschedule Top Model night?

Tim just surprised me.

He wants to take me out to dinner

to celebrate me winning the case.

He even sent a car

to pick me up.

Wow. I know.

I'm sure he saw it in a movie, but I

don't even care. How sweet is he?

Yeah, that's really cute.

I know. But I feel so

bad for bailing on you.

No. Oh, my God. No, don't.

That... Don't be silly.

That... That's what DVR is for.

Okay, thank you so much.

I love you.

I love you.

Hey. Hi.

Sorry. How creepy was that

that I sent a car for you...

and I wasn't in it?

I had to work late. Wanted you to be

able to celebrate and not have to drive.

I can't believe you did that.

Oh. Well, thank you.

The place looks amazing.

Oh, yeah. It's cool, right?

I guess they do

this whole local organic thing.

Yeah. Okay. Good.

Yeah, I'll put our names in.

Uh, we have a reservation, but...

What?

Why are you freaking out?

Usually with guys

I have to do everything.

I have to pick the restaurant,

make the reservation,

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