Lavalantula Page #2

Wyatt.

Great. He just walked

out of the house.

What's with that kid?

He doesn't listen

anymore.

Tell him the freeway's

a parking lot.

I'm gonna get there

as soon as I can.

You know what?

You tell him.

Colton West is

in the news again.

Why are you

on TV?

According to

law enforcement sources,

nineties movie star and

action hero Colton West

was booked last night

in Santa Monica

on charges of aggravated assault

and resisting arrest.

I guess that's one way to get

yourself back in the public eye.

What kind of trouble

are you in now?

I don't know, honey.

I really don't know.

You know what?

I don't care.

Goodbye, Colton.

Whoa.

Did you feel that?

Whoa!

We're having an earthquake.

Yeah, honey,

are you okay?

Olivia, are you okay?

Whoa!

You see that?!

Everybody

take cover!

Aah!

Come on.

Come on. Come on.

Come on, answer.

Answer.

Reports are pouring in

of an unprecedented

geological event

occurring in Los Angeles.

How 'bout biological?

How 'bout volcanic,

you moron?

This is

a freaking apocalypse!

In a follow-up story,

the Malibu bar fight

involving nineties movie star

and action hero, Colton West,

who was made famous

by his role as the Red Rocket

and made famous the expression,

"Nice" anything.

Nice nose.

Nice tattoo. Yah!

Nice tentacle.

Eyewitnesses are now

coming forward

to say that Colton West

was in fact

trying to be a peacemaker.

If that in fact is the case,

then this reporter

has one thing to say.

Nice job.

We interrupt this program

to bring you breaking news.

The earthquakes

that have been shaking

the L.A. basin

the last few minutes

are in fact tied

to a volcanic eruption

in the Santa Monica Mountains

near the Sepulveda Pass.

Now, this would be

an unprecedented volcanic event

that--Okay.

Why is there

still no Internet?

Damn it!

You get Colton

on the phone yet?

No. It keeps going

to voice mail.

You guys

have to see this.

One of my friends

just sent this to me.

Yeah, that's great.

My kid has

that app, too.

Take a video

of anything,

you can nuke it,

alien invade it,

smash it

with a meteor.

What?

He's already killed

the neighbor's cat

30 times.

Oh, my God!

That was a big one,

you guys.

I think

we should go home.

I think

you're right.

That's a first.

Now!

Okay.

Son of a--

Spiders.

Did the spiders come?

Have you seen

the spiders?

Why didn't you tell me

about the bar fight?

The bar--bar fight

was nothing!

Nothing?

What--

It's all over the news.

"Colton West

is in trouble again."

Did Arni bail you out?

None of that matters.

Nothing matters.

What matters

is you're okay.

Thank God, honey,

you're okay.

You're not gonna believe

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