Lavalantula

Synopsis: Colton West, a once popular movie star and action hero from the 90s, is now reduced to acting in low-budget movies about horrific bugs. The old days of glamour and stardom, seem to be long forgotten and now Colton, the star of "Red Rocket", is having problems with the law, facing assault charges. On his way home after filming some scenes for his last action movie, Colton gets stuck in traffic and all of a sudden, a swarm of earthquakes hits Southern California, shaking the L.A. basin. To make matters worse, a volcanic eruption of the Santa Monica Mountains will lead to events of unprecedented scale, as chaos, panic and lava emerging from big gas-smelling gapes, begin to appear everywhere in town. On top of that, a new breed of lava-breathing arachnids are forcing a mandatory emergency evacuation of the city, so the need for Colton to go downtown and find his family is greater than ever. Armed with a shotgun and the will to survive, once more this intrepid man of action will have to do
Director(s): Mike Mendez
Production: Cinetel Films
 
IMDB:
4.6
TV-14
Year:
2015
83 min
15 Views

1

Mr. Zander,

former Green Beret.

Medal of Honor

recipient.

CIA operative.

rmer head

of the Black Cobra

Mercenary Society.

I thought you would have

been a bigger challenge,

but what

a disappointment

you are.

You're beginning

to sound like my father.

Is there anything you

would like to tell us now?

Yeah.

I want to thank you.

You just saved me 1,500 bucks

in a root canal.

Heh.

Joke.

Don't misunderstand me.

I find you very funny,

but I'm done with you

and your jokes.

So tell me, Mr. Zander,

do you have

any final words

before I

remove your head

from your body?

Yeah, I do.

Nice leg.

Aah!

Aah!

Sayonara, amigos.

Cut!

Cut! Cut!

Darren, where are you?

Where are you?

I-Is this how you

take care of me?

It was supposed to be

taken care of.

What happened?

Sorry. It just

malfunctioned.

My bad, baby.

My bad.

Malfunctioned?

My bad.

Wait. This is smoke.

How could smoke

not function?

No. We don't use

smoke anymore.

No, no, no.

No, no.

"Red Rocket" was smoke.

That was whoosh.

This is different.

This is wheesh.

This is

liquid nitrogen,

new formula,

and it's safe

until it explodes.

Nitrogen? Are you kidding me?

Yes.

This is a chemical.

This can't be good

for my body.

Oh, baby,

you look fabulous.

Yeah, man.

You really do

look fabulous.

Let's move on to scene 87.

Sorry, boss.

Let's get

the green screen lit.

Let's get Colton

in his new wardrobe.

87? Hold on.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

Darren, I'm not doing 87.

I'm wrapped.

I can't do this.

We have to do scene 87.

I need you

in the scene

with the bugs.

What bugs? I hate bugs.

I can't do a bug movie.

I'm not doing--

It's so funny

that you say that,

because you're

in a bug movie

right now.

That's what's happening.

I'm in a bug movie?

When did this

become a bug movie?

It became a bug movie when

the writer put his fingers

on the keyboard.

Excuse me. I hope she's

a good friend of yours,

because you

just got her fired.

Hit that

with something heavy.

If I see that

near your face,

your face is in

the unemployment office.

What page is there

a bug movie?

What page?

Did you read the script?

Yeah, I looked it over.

What do you mean

you looked it over?

Did you put it on a coffee table

and look at it,

or did you read it?

I read most of it, Darren.

Come on. We're done here.

We're not done.

We're not done.

Oh, really?

Look, we're into

four hours of overtime,

and you promised me

I could take my kid

to see his favorite team.

You promised me that you

would be a team player

on this shoot,

that I wouldn't have to put up

with your crap this time.

I've been

here for 16 hours

choking on smoke.

How much more

of a team player

do you want?

Don't walk out that door.

Really?

You're making a mistake.

Really?

Thank you, Amber.

Oh, come on. Get bent.

Don't walk out that door,

Colton.

Okay, you did.

Now don't walk to your car.

Really?

Okay, it's over

for you if you do.

Over? Come on.

Yeah.

We know each other

10 years. We're buddies.

10 years is nothing

in this business.

I'm done with you.

Oh, come on.

Look, Darren, you know

the only reason

the producers

put me in this

is to put my face

on the video box.

On a video box?

Did you just time-travel here

from the nineties?

This is your problem.

You live in a world

of car phones and

fax machines.

You're living in the past.

"Red Rocket"

was 20 years ago.

"Clown Cops"

was 25 years ago.

You have to realize

I only put you in this move

as a favor to Arni.

I'm making a movie about

giant cockroaches, okay?

It sells itself.

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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"Lavalantula" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 12 Nov. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/lavalantula_12323>.

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