Last Action Hero Page #3

while he's shooting people.

What I'm saying is Mr. Benedict

can take you out as easy as cake.

Pie, you Sicilian schmuck.

The man is a surgeon.

You want me to make him operate on you?

I swear, I don't know.

Dump him at his place, huh?

But take it easy.

He bought it.

He actually believes

me and old man Torelli are banding together.

Beauty part is, nobody knows different.

Not till after the funeral.

Then everybody knows.

Everybody knows Tony Vivaldi

is number one.

You are going to pay.

Oh, are you going to pay.

Are you sure this is the right address?

This don't look like no crack house to me.

What do you want?

Sixty guys dancing on the lawn,

throwing cocaine at each other?

Just kick the door in.

What's up, guys?

- Quiet. This is a drug bust.

- A drug bust?

You must be joking.

My second cousin Frank lives in there.

The only drugs you'll find in there

are aspirin.

And if you touch that front door,

you're going to need them.

Maybe there's been a mistake.

We received an anonymous tip.

Frank? Frank? Frank?

Frank?

- Frank.

- Jack...

Jack, listen to me.

- Who did this?

- Listen to me. This is important.

Tony Vivaldi and the Torelli mob

are joining forces.

I'm out of here.

Frank. Frank!

I'm sorry, Frank.

It's a bomb!

He's okay. Minor wound. Both cops dead.

Two days to retirement.

Nick? Hello?

Nick!

Who the hell are you?

Don't shoot me.

I'm Danny Madigan, I'm a kid.

How did you get here?

I'm not quite sure where "here" is, sir,

but I don't think you want to know.

Okay, close your eyes,

stay flat and don't move.

You're driving with no hands.

You think it's easy?

You have to practice a lot

and never ever do it in heavy traffic.

Iced that guy. To "cone" a phrase.

Wait a minute. The bad puns, the voice,

the hard rock.

This is happening.

This is really happening.

This is not happening.

Repeat, this is not hap...

Oh, no!

I booted. Sorry.

I thought I was going to die.

I'm sorry to disappoint you,

but you're going to live to enjoy

all the glorious fruits life has to offer,

acne, shaving, premature ejaculation

and your first divorce.

Boy, does this suck weenie

or what?

This is a movie set.

This is a movie set.

That's how the scenery changed, right?

You're going to play chicken, aren't you?

Just like Jack Slater.

Fasten your seat belt, please.

Your fingers?

Cross as many as you can.

I'm in the movie.

Holy cow, I'm in the movie!

Nick, Houdini wasn't faking.

Jack, did you see that?

I was just in a real police station

and this is much nicer.

Hey, Slater, it's your ex-wife on two.

You stay. She's always calling me.

Hello, sweetheart, how are you?

It's so nice to hear your voice.

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