Ladybugs Page #5

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in soccer,

"ball control

is the second most important thing."

Son of a b*tch!

She'll get a lot of mileage

out of that one.

"Number two,

move into the path of the ball.

"Number three,

treat the ball as if it were a fragile egg.

"Relax and withdraw

when you make contact."

I tell you, that Welfelt has power.

You know, with the right training,

she could be the best player we have.

The best player we have?

What about Larimer, there,

the little black girl?

She's the best player we have.

Now, you know that black people

are the best at sports, come on.

We're the best runners,

the fastest runners,

the best at track,

we're the best at baseball,

the best at boxing,

the best at basketball, football.

I mean, hey, you name it.

Black people, best at sports.

You kidding?

How about hockey?

Yeah, water polo.

Fencing. Best at sports. Badminton.

Yachting. Best at sports, you kidding?

I forgot fox hunting.

Best at sports.

Come on.

"More than anything, the goalie

is the intellectual ruler of the game.

"Sharp, cunning, observant."

Number four,

anybody who coaches

a girls' soccer team is completely nuts.

Okay, folks. That does it

for the first game of the season.

Final score,

Tornadoes 9, Ladybugs nothing.

Coach Chester, over here, please.

No pictures, please.

I don't want to be seen here.

Chester.

My wife and I are very disappointed.

We expected a much better showing.

Well, now look at it this way,

Mr. Mullen,

so far this year,

they only lost one game, you know.

Normally, this wouldn't

be so important to me

but you know how involved

my wife and daughter are.

So now I am totally involved.

As you know, Chester,

I'm a very competitive man.

And I love being the best.

If you can take this bunch of beginners

and turn them into a winning team,

that, to me, shows leadership.

The kind of leadership I want

at the head of my sales department.

I don't believe it.

That was absolutely dreadful.

I hope you do better for us next time.

David, darling, let's go.

My wife and I are going away

for the weekend.

I want to see better results.

We'll be back on Monday, if not sooner.

He won't be back any sooner.

That's it.

I'll show up for practice today,

then I'm quitting.

Chester, you have to think

about what you're doing.

You can't quit now. You'll lose your job.

And if you lose your job, I'll lose my job.

Then you have no future,

and I'll have no car,

no dishwasher, no TV, no furniture.

You can't quit now!

I got to quit.

Coaching these kids is driving me nuts.

Last night I had a dream,

I was a soccer ball,

and Bess kept kicking me.

And I told her, "Don't touch me.

You can't use your hands."

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