Ladybugs

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When you got up this morning

and you looked in the mirror,

you were losers!

When you came here this morning,

you were losers!

Now look at you!

To succeed in this world,

we must do everything we can

to appear successful.

So when people criticize you,

fill you with insecurity and self-doubt,

whip it out!

I am great! I am wonderful!

Everybody likes me!

Stand up!

Whip it out!

I am great. I am wonderful.

Everybody likes me.

I am great. I am wonderful.

Everybody likes me.

Sit down!

Congratulations, ladies and gentlemen.

You are now prepared and equipped

to take your rightful places

as captains of industry.

You are ready and armed!

And remember, when you get a job,

make sure your boss is taller than you.

That way it's easier to kiss his ass.

I make a joke. I make a joke.

Okay, everybody, stand up!

- I am great. I am wonderful.

- I am great. I am wonderful.

- Everybody likes me.

- Everybody likes me.

- I am great. I am wonderful.

- I am great. I am wonderful.

- Everybody likes me.

- Everybody likes me.

Shut up!

- Hello?

- I just want to remind you,

you have a meeting

with the man himself, Mr. Mullen.

10:
00 tomorrow, in his office.

So don't forget.

So far it's just a meeting,

so, you know, don't count on anything.

Are you kidding? It's in the bag.

And I don't care what you think, Julie,

those seminars

with Dr. Von Kemp really paid off.

Good luck, Chester. You deserve it.

My name is Chester.

I'm great. I'm wonderful.

Everybody likes me.

My name is Chester.

I'm great. I'm wonderful.

Everybody likes me.

Hey, Chester. My name's Harlin,

and to me, you look like a giant a**hole.

Well, if I'm an a**hole,

there's a reason for it.

You're contagious.

Oh, yeah?

All those beautiful people

in this neighborhood

Hey, let's beautify the neighborhood

Oh, honey.

Stay indoors.

The way you made love last summer

You ruined my spring

Hey, Matthew, catch.

- Nice try. Where's your mother?

- I don't know. I'm busy.

Hey, Matthew, not too close.

You'll strain your eyes.

And later on in other places.

- Guess who.

- Tom Cruise.

No, close.

I have no idea.

You have to give me a hint.

It's the man who for you

would swim the deepest ocean,

climb the highest mountain

and sees bluebirds when you smile.

- You crazy girl.

- Chester, hi.

Oh, flowers.

All right. It's not my birthday.

What have you done wrong?

Honey, nothing is wrong.

Everything is right.

10:
00 tomorrow morning,

I'm seeing the big boss, Mr. Mullen.

My promotion is in the bag.

I can hear those wedding bells now.

Yeah, it sounds great, Chester,

but I've heard it all before.

And Matthew and I,

we're getting along better.

Last Christmas

we weren't getting along at all.

And I gave him a BB gun,

he gave me a sweatshirt

with a bull's-eye on the back.

I mean, he has a weird sense of humor.

I mean, Easter, he gave me

chocolate bunnies made of Exlax.

But we'll work it out.

Bess, baby, listen to me.

I'll be the father he never had.

It's going to be first class all the way.

We'll take more vacations.

- We'll stay in the best hotels.

- We'll steal better towels.

- Hey, we'll join a country club.

- We'll become alcoholic snobs.

We'll hang out with Maryann and Biff

and take Dad's car. That's deuce.

How did I get so lucky?

Men. They only want one thing.

But if they don't want to marry me,

they ain't getting that thing no more.

Because if I can't sell it

I'm gonna sit right down on it

Before I ever give it away

- Beautiful, beautiful.

- Oh, Chester.

I'd ask for an encore, but I'm busy.

It's time to see the man.

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