Joe Rogan: Triggered Page #4

---

of guys that were trying to f*** her...

or her boss was a chick and she hated her.

Either one's possible.

Look, if there was a bunch of guys

that were trying to f*** her,

that makes total sense.

If there's one hot girl and she's working

with five guys in an office,

no work's getting done in that office.

That office is now just an audition

to see which guy gets to f*** her.

Each one of those guys

will just slowly start to morph

to figure out what this girl likes.

Men become like an octopus that tries

to fit its way through a keyhole.

"There's gotta be a f***ing way.

There's gotta be a f***ing way!"

You got this girl who's like,

"I could guard the front door."

"Oh, you could definitely guard the door.

No doubt. No doubt."

And over time, if this woman doesn't sleep

with one of these men and claim him,

over time,

these guys will just start morphing.

And they'll just start saying ridiculous,

preposterous sh*t.

"Debbie wants to guard the front door.

Do you have a problem with that?"

"No, I don't. As a matter of fact,

I think women are amazing.

Plus, I'm vegan."

And they will just...

They will wear patchouli.

They will do what the f***

they have to do.

Next thing you know,

poor f***ing Debbie at the front door...

"Why am I alone?"

The whole story is so bananas.

And it's one of my favorite stories.

So I'm gonna give you the whole story

of the break-in at the White House

with no edits and no comic exaggerations.

This is the real story.

'Cause a lot of people think

there's some grand conspiracy.

There's some cabal of evil geniuses

that's pulling the strings

on everyone in America.

It's most likely that people

are just dumb as f***,

in all sorts of walks of life.

This is the story.

This is the real story about the person

who broke into the White House.

First of all, people are always worried,

"The government's

checking out my e-mails, bro.

The government's

watching us all the time."

They pulled this guy over two months

before he broke into the White House.

He had four handguns, two rifles

and a machete with him.

They didn't even watch him.

He had a map.

On the map was Washington,

and it had an "X"

where the White House is.

They're like, "You're good to go."

They let him go!

Two months later, this motherf***er

broke into the White House.

And why did he break into the White House?

Why do you break

into the White House ever?

Because you want to die.

You don't... That's like a suicide run.

That's the only reason why someone

runs toward the White House.

If you had to ask someone,

"What kind of security

do you think they have

at the White House?"

"Oh, dude...

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes