Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa .5 Page #5

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take your hands out and say,

"Cheeseburger."

- Cheeseburger.

- Cheeseburger.

Now, what do you want

for Christmas, Billy?

I want a fishing rod,

tackle and bait.

Okay.

- My mom to get out of jail.

- Okay.

And a rusty trombone

for my grandpa.

- A rusty trombone for your grandpa?

- Yep.

- I'm cold.

- You are?

How can you be cold? Do you think

I'm giving you the shivers?

Santa gives a lot of kids the shivers

'cause I come from the North Pole.

Hope that's all he gives him.

But anyway, Billy, do you know

what snowmen eat for breakfast?

- What?

- Frosted Flakes.

Do you know why Santa Claus

doesn't have any children?

He only comes once a year,

and it's down a chimney.

All right, you be a good boy, okay?

Grandpa, I think I pissed myself.

You did?

You didn't think you

did, you really peed.

- Sorry, Santa.

- That's okay, buddy.

- Sorry.

- You be good, okay?

- Jesus.

- Sorry about the pee-pee.

- That's okay, buddy. No harm done.

- Oh, no. What'd you do?

Okay, we're gonna

have to take a break.

- How you doing?

- Hello, how are you?

Good.

Oh, no. My colostomy bag.

No, don't touch it, don't touch.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Oh, God, that...

I'm very sorry.

Oh, no, I dropped my watch.

I dropped my watch.

- In there?

- Yes. Can you help me?

- I'm so sorry.

- That's okay.

Is there some staff around?

- Yeah, he just went to get help.

- Okay.

- Oh, my God, I'm sorry.

- It's okay.

If you stand in there,

he's gonna get help.

Okay. Thank you.

- Because they'll go get you...

- Can you help me?

- They're gonna get your stuff out.

- You're a good boy.

You're fine.

When you're doing pranks,

every now and then

you'll come across someone

who's absolute gold,

and that was the penguin guy.

- You ran over the penguin.

- You put a penguin in my spot.

You ran over the penguin,

what are you talking about?

Well, you don't have to yell at me.

We cut the bit to two

and a half minutes,

but it could have

easily been 15 minutes.

He just kept generating footage.

You're fixing this

f***ing penguin, dude.

- Nah.

- What happened to it?

He put it right in my spot!

What do you mean your spot?

You ran it over!

Well, you don't have to yell.

You ran the f***ing penguin over,

- you f***ing mutt.

- You're still yelling.

Jesus Christ.

Do you work at this restaurant?

Don't worry about

where I work at, dude.

You know, you work at Fish

City across town, you said.

- Krazy Fish.

- Krazy Fish.

Krazy Fish, get that

right, Krazy Fish.

- Krazy Fish.

- With a K.

And if you did that to my f***ing place

I would whip your goddamn ass, dude.

With a K? Sounds exotic.

So, George didn't even

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