Irish Jam Page #4

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Oh, that's me! S.M.A.R.T. Smart.

S.M. Art. Smart.

-You can spell, good.

-Smart. Enough to get my own club.

Doing it P Diddy style. Going to

get some action going on up here.

It ain't Jamaica, but I'm gonna

'ja make' the best of it.

Bye, bye. Right, is that

everything do you think?

Would you like some help with them

Groceries, or would you prefer...

...himself to be carrying them

for you? The new landlord.

Shouldn't youse lot be getting back

to the zoo before it closes up for...

...the night? Or perhaps a swift kick

up the ass'll get you there quicker?

Now, out of the way.

I'll not be looking to fight the

weaker sex.

Me neither, but in your case I'll

make an exception.

There's something I can do for

you, boys?

No, Father. Just catching up

with the gossip.

Good to see you taking an interest

in the welfare of the village.

Off youse go now.

See youse all at mass on Sunday?

-Yes, Father.

-And confession on Saturday?

-Yes, Father.

They're lovely boys.

So, is he a Catholic?

-Who?

-Well, you know, the new fellow.

-I don't know, I didn't ask.

Aye, not to worry, I can always

convert him. If not, eh?

She can always whip him into

shape with her tongue.

If that fails, he can bore him into

submission with his hell stories.

-You're a hard woman, Maureen.

-Must be genetic, right?

So, what do you think of the

gold tooth?

You like it, do you?

And himself? Do you think he's

a bit mad or just a bit hyper?

What, do you think he's scared?

I suppose I would be, too with the

likes of the McNultys waiting...

...to pounce. McNulty zombie. I am a

McNulty and I am a stupid zombie.

Is that your best zombie? Come

on you can do better than that!

Now make sure you idiots don't

mess this up!

There's plenty more where this

comes from.

Consider it a down payment.

You alright, Grandad?

You're awful quiet.

-Well, what's to become of us?

-What d'you mean?

-We'll be invaded surely!

-What, by the Vikings?

-No, them rappers and their gangs.

-Are you mad?

No, I know them bloods and crisps.

Oh, it'll be like that film the

'Boys and their Hoods'.

-What?

-There'll be naked bootys on...

...every corner. There'll be

gangsters with them,...

...Dirty Harry guns selling that

crackaine stuff.

And there'll be them driveaways and

people popping each other's arses.

I can't believe you. You're the one

who taught me to have an open mind.

My God!

-I tell ya, I had you there!

You're just a big kid, grandad.

Kathleen! Your dinner's ready.

Well, come on, what's really

the matter?

Well, we're close to 400,000 short

of settling the mortgage payments.

And that's without even paying

off the principle.

-And what is the principle?

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