Irish Jam Page #3

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To hell with the lot of youse.

Will you raise your glasses, to

himself, our new landlord.

The long lost son of Ireland.

What the...?

Hey! All right. What's happening?

It ain't 'Temptation Island', but

we'll make it work.

'Welcome to Ballywood'.

Hollywood to Ballywood.

Well, don't everybody talk at once.

What? Hey this ain't

no clansman rally, is it?

What the KKK, what you talking about?

-Cad mile filte.

-Does somebody speak English?

-Welcome to Ballywood.

They're the deeds to Finnegan's pub.

-Finnegan's, yes, the prize.

I'm having my attorney look this

over, you know what I'm saying?

Oh, I appreciate that.

Welcome, yes.

What the hell is that man?

Where is the Cristal?

Don't you all people know how

to throw a party? Come on!

I'm just arriving, there's

supposed to be some balloons.

Black man coming through. What?

You all playing with me right now.

All these faces. All right, where

the native girls?

Alright, bring on the native girls,

where are the native women?

-Supposedly you're referring to me.

-No, I was thinking about...

...the ones with big bootys.

You know, you'll do.

I mean, we gotta work some

things out, a little makeover.

Pluck the eyebrows, collagen

injection in the lips because...

...I like them big.

-I'm homely.

Is that what he said?

What's happening? Look out girl,

you know we'll do a couple of things.

Yeah, we can flip this.

-Father Duffy.

Father Duffy. James McDevitt.

You know some people call me

Jimmy da Jam in high circles.

You know, with me Dre, Snoop

and all us be hangin out, you know.

Say a prayer for me to make

sure this deed is correct.

Otherwise, I might have to get

South Central up in here.

You know what I'm saying? Don't

understand how I played war.

I like the outfit, the collar is

working.

Stay away from the little boys.

-He's, he's a...

-What's up fellahs? How's it going?

He's the new landlord of

Ballywood's only pub.

I love this village already.

-The door sticks.

-So do I baby, so do I.

-Is everything else to your liking?

-No, not really, you know.

But I'm going to make it work, baby.

Right then, we'll leave you

to get some rest.

I'm sure you'll be needing your

strength for the native girls.

Make sure there's no fat ones.

I got a thing with the fat ones.

Anything over 85 kilograms

ain't to my liking, you know.

I like them potek, peteek, poe teak.

Not really po, but kind of teaky.

I want something nice and slim,

got a nice little bottom on it.

You know, something I can really

work with. Because they broke...

...the mould when they made me, baby.

I'm telling you.

I think that's the smartest thing

you've said since you arrived.

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