Irish Jam

Synopsis: Upon discovering that their town is up for sale, crafty Irish villagers scheme to raise the money to prevent the buy-out. They hold a poetry contest with a tempting grand prize -- the deed to their local pub. But what could happen when a duplicitous American rapper emerges as the best poet around?
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): John Eyres
Production: Bauer Martinez Studios
 
IMDB:
5.3
PG-13
Year:
2006
94 min
66 Views


Altyaz hazrlayan;

ozguncaglar

'Once there was a time',

my Dad would always say, before...

...telling us stories that would send

me off to my dreams.

'Once there was a time when the

land was taken from the people...

...and split into parts to be ruled by

kings and men and laws.

But the people were protected by

the magic ones.

Who sailed out from the mist on

ships of the sky.

Full of light and music and beauty.

And it is said by those who ought

to know such things, that the...

...magic ones no longer walked

among us.'

But to hear my Dad tell it - you

need only know where to look.

Look! Strangers.

Would you see that now?

Strangers.

Come on now, we'd better get home.

Thanks, boys. Thanks.

Everything all right, Granddad?

-What the feck we waiting for?

Well there's a bit of a stink of

rotten fish, but your Uncle James...

...will get to the bottom of it.

-Right.

Hush now.

Now, will you all be quiet?

We all know that our village has

fallen behind on it's mortgage...

...payments. Me and me Da, we've been

Down watching a couple of fellows...

...by the lake. And we are pretty sure

that himself is up to something.

That old scrooge, Hailstock or

Haystack or whatever his name is.

Greedy sod. Knows the price of

everything and the value of nothing.

Well how much do we owe the

scrounger?

-I think it's about...

-1,362,000 euros.

Scheming, lobster faced, thief.

You're purposely trying to squeeze

us out so you can rob us of the land.

Where in heavens did you get an

idea like that?

Speaking of heavens, perhaps some

Hail Mary's and a spot of good...

...old-fashioned grovelling to your

maker might come in handy.

I will not stand by and have you take

the name of the Blessed Virgin Mary.

It's a kick up the arse you need.

-Now, don't you be getting...

...your hands dirty, you're a priest.

I'll belt him, you can get...

...the big fellow upstairs

to forgive me.

Hailstock, you've said your piece,

now get out of our pub.

Unless I'm mistaken, this is one

piece of property that you don't own.

Give me time, my dear.

Give me time.

-Now. Before I forget I'm a pacifist.

Since when were you a...

-Pettikreep!

-Yes, sir?

Hand it to them.

-Get out!

-That's right, get out!

-It's a notice of foreclosure.

-What did he say?

-We've got 90 days to pay.

-90 days?

But it's not our fault. Hailstock

controls most of the jobs.

Father, may I say something?

Let's all be quiet for the wonderful

Michael O'Malley.

Shush, Brian McNulty,

you be quiet now.

I have an idea.

You see, sometimes in America small

towns will raffle off a vintage car...

...or a piece of land or whatever

to raise money for the community.

But what do we have, other than a

bankrupt village?

-We got this.

-What?

You mean Finnigan's?

It's the only building we own, that

Hailstock doesn't.

But if the village goes belly up,

then he'll put a lean on us...

...personally. And it'll fall

right into his lap.

However, if we can sell it to an

outsider.

Then he won't be able to get his

greedy hands on it.

Well, what do you think?

Who's with me?

Well I think it's a grand idea. I'm

with you Michael.

-Well I think it's shite!

-Aye, me too.

Shite!

Put some money in the box...

Go on folks, put your money in

the box now.

You can put some money in the box.

In the bucket, we want to make

sure we make that clear.

All right? Bucket.

-Get out of my way, man. No way.

They don't want to pay me?

You know what I'm saying? I'm out

there dancing my ass off.

More bills, more bills.

Yo.

-Is this James Winston McDevitt?

No, it's Mr N*gger, but I'll take

a message for him.

This is No Escape Debt Collection

Services. You will be disconnected...

...unless you make a payment of

I got the 16 cents part covered.

-Yeah?

-McDevitt, this is the landlord.

When are you going to pay the rent?

-Look here baby...

What's your name baby?

-Marlene.

Pay the rent? Who, what?

Why would you want to do

this to me? I'm dying.

My liver's messed up. I got

a problem with my scrotum.

My heart locked up one time,

you know what I'm saying?

I got my nieces and nephews

around the bed one nut fell out.

Your nut fell out. Don't die uncle,

there it go on the floor.

So, you know, what I need from

you, right now, is compassion.

Hello?

Kiss my black ass.

I'm going to pay some of these

bills, too.

I'm in a jam as Jimmy the hustler.

You know what I'm saying?

You oregano, but a n*gger won't

know.

You all need some elevation in

your life, you understand me?

Enlighten yourself.

How much is this going to take off?

-300 is good enough for me.

This is holiday season, you know?

You have to eat and all that...

Here's the dollars.

It's all there, smart ass.

Excuse me for a minute, enjoy that.

What the hell is that?

Whoever is outside the door,

you might want to go to any other...

...door. Ain't nothing but murder,

death, kill up in here.

Come round here messing with

me, you young ass fool.

Jimmy.

Psycho, you know I was just getting

ready to call you on the phone.

-Jimma, Jimma Jimmy.

-Hey, Psycho, psycho.

You think you were going to say your

wedding vows to me over the phone.

Yeah, I was gonna say them over

the phone.

-Over the phone, Jimmy?

-'Cause I was working.

Like ring, ring, 'hello?'

Over the phone.

Collect?

-Baby, look...

...we should discuss this because,

you know...

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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