Idiocracy Page #5

[ All Laughing ]

And that's all it was

for 90 minutes.

[ Movie. :
Farting ]

It won eight Oscars that year,

including best screenplay.

[ Electronic Voice ]

Enjoy your Extra Big-Ass Fries.

You didn't gimme no fries.

I got an empty box.

Would you like another

Extra Big-Ass Fries?

I said I didn't get any.

[ Electronic Voice]

Thank you. Your account has been charged.

Your balance is zero.

- What? Oh, no. No!

- Please come back when you

can afford to make a purchase.

- [ Beeping ]

- I'm sorry you're having trouble.

- Come on! My kids are starvin'.

- I'm sorry you're having trouble.

[ Buzzes ]

This should

help you calm down.

Please come back when you

can afford to make a purchase.

Your kids are starving. Carl's Jr. Believes

no child should go hungry.

You are an unfit mother. Your children

will be placed in the custody of Carl's Jr.

Carl's Jr.

"F*** you. I'm eating."

Welcome to Carl's Jr.

Would you like to try

our Extra Big-Ass Taco...

now with more molecules?

Heyl Is this particular

individual the unfit mother?

- Me? No.

- Okay. This particular individual is unscannable.

Listen, I can explain, okay?

I was in an army experiment.

Wait a second. There's the other pod

from the army experiment.

There was a girl.

She was from the same experiment.

- Yeah, that's enough of your bullshit, sir.

- [ Groaning ]

[ Narrator] Joe was arrested for not

paying his hospital bill...

and not having

his U.R.C. Tattoo.

He would soon discover that

in the future, justice was not only blind...

but had become

rather retarded as well.

You shut up! Now-

[ Clears Throat ]

I'm fixin' to commensurate

this trial here.

We gonna see if we can't

come up with a verdict up in here.

Now, since y'all

say you ain't got no money...

we have "proprietarily"

obtained for you...

one of them

court-appointed lawyers.

So, put your hands together

and give it up for Frito Rendejo.

You're my lawyer?

Says here you, uh,

robbed a hospital?

- Why'd you do that?

- Yeah. I'm not guilty.

- That's not what the other lawyer said.

- What do you mean what the-

Listen, you gotta get me

on the stand, okay?

I can explain everything. We can take 'em

to your house, show 'em the pod.

Shut upl Shut upl Shut upl

Now, prosecutor,

why you think he done it?

Okay, number one, Your Honor,

just look at him.

[ All Laughing ]

- He talks like a fag too.

- [ Laughing Continues ]

And "B," we've got all this,

like, evidence...

of how, like, this guy didn't

even pay at the hospital.

And I heard that he doesn't

even have his tattoo.

- [ Crowd Grumbling ]

- I know!

And I'm all, "You've gotta be shittin' me."

But check this out, man.

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