Idiocracy

Synopsis: Officer Collins has been spearheading one of the US Army's most secretive experiments to date: the Human Hibernation Project. If successful, the project would store its subjects indefinitely until they are needed most. Their first test subject - Joe Bauers - was not chosen for his superiority. Instead, he's chosen because he's the most average guy in the armed services. But scandal erupts after the experiment takes place, the base is closed, and the president disavows any knowledge of the project. Unfortunately Joe doesn't wake up in a year, he wakes up in 500 years! But during that time human evolution has taken a dramatic down turn. After waking up, Joe takes a prison-assigned IQ test and finds that he's the smartest guy alive! Awaiting a full presidential pardon if he can solve one of the country's biggest problems - the dwindling plant population, Joe races against time to solve this problem. But in doing so he alienates half the country in the process! Can he make things right and
Director(s): Mike Judge
Production: 20th Century Fox
  1 nomination.
 
IMDB:
6.6
Metacritic:
66
Rotten Tomatoes:
76%
R
Year:
2006
84 min
$313,505
437 Views

[ Man Narrating ]

As the 21 st century began...

human evolution was

at a turning point.

Natural selection, the process by which

the strongest, the smartest...

the fastest reproduced

in greater numbers than the rest...

a process which had once

favored the noblest traits of man...

now began to favor

different traits.

[ Reporter]

TheJoey Buttafuoco case-

Most science fiction of the day

predicted a future that was more civilized...

and more intelligent.

But as time went on, things seemed

to be heading in the opposite direction.

A dumbing down.

How did this happen?

Evolution does not necessarily

reward intelligence.

With no natural predators

to thin the herd...

it began to simply reward those

who reproduced the most...

and left the intelligent

to become an endangered species.

Having kids is such

an important decision.

We're just waiting

for the right time.

It's not something you want

to rush into, obviously.

No way.

Oh, shit,

I'm pregnant againl

Shit!

I got too many damn kids!

- I thought you was on the pill or some shit!

- Hell, no!

Shit! I must've been

thinkin' of Brittany.

Brittany?

No, you didn't!

- There's no way we could have a child now.

- Mm-mm.

Not with the market

the way it is, no.

God, no. That just

wouldn't make any sense.

Come on over here, bitch!

He don't care about you!

Yeah? Well, there must be

somethin' he likes over here.

- She don't mean nothin' to me, baby!

- Clevon!

Oh, shit.

It wasn't me! It wasn't me!

Well, we finally decided

to have children...

and I'm not pointing fingers,

but it's not going well.

And this is helping.

I'm just saying that before I have in vitro,

maybe you should be willing to-

It's always me, right?

Well, it's not

my sperm count.

Yeah! Yeah!

I'm gonna f*ck all y'all!

That's my boy!

Whoo! Whoo!

Clevon is lucky

to be alive.

He attempted to jump

a Jet Ski from a lake...

into a swimming pool

and impaled his crotch on an iron gate.

But thanks to recent advances

in stem cell research...

and the fine work of Doctors Krinski

and Altschuler...

Clevon should regain

full reproductive function.

Get your hands

off my junk!

Unfortunately, Trevor passed away

from a heart attack...

while masturbating...

to produce sperm

for artificial insemination.

But I have

some eggs frozen...

so just as soon as the right guy

comes along, you know-

[ Clevon Shouting ]

[ Narrator]

And so it went for generations...

although few, if any,

seemed to notice.

But in the year 2005, in a military base

just outside of Washington, D. C... .

A simple army librarian

was unknowingly...

about to change the entire course

ofhuman history.

Come on, asshole!

Go on! Take him to jail!

Hey, Bauers.

This is Peterson,

your new replacement.

- My what? I'm gettin' replaced?

- Yeah, they didn't tell you?

- No.

- Some new assignment.

They're being all weird

and hush-hush about it.

I don't want a new assignment.

I tell Sergeant Metsler that every time.

- I'm good at this.

- Good at what? Sittin' on ass?

No one ever comes in here.

Yeah, I know. It's perfect for me.

No one bothers me. I can't screw up.

If I can just stay in here another eight years,

I get my pension.

I'm all set. Can you just

get me out of this?

No way. Not this time.

It's coming from high up.

Jesus. I don't understand.

Why me?

Every time Metsler says, "Lead, follow,

or get out of the way," I get out of the way.

When he says that, you're not supposed

to choose "get out of the way."

It's supposed to embarrass you

into leading or at least following.

That doesn't

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Mike Judge

Michael Craig "Mike" Judge (born October 17, 1962) is an American actor, voice actor, animator, writer, producer, director, and musician. He created and starred in the animated television series Beavis and Butt-Head (1993–1997, 2011), King of the Hill (1997–2010) and The Goode Family (2009), and co-created the television sitcom Silicon Valley (2014–present). more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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"Idiocracy" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 10 Dec. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/idiocracy_10605>.

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