Idiocracy Page #3

Things looked bleak forJoe,

but they were even worse for mankind.

As Joe and Rita lay dormant,

the years passed...

and mankind became stupider

at a frightening rate.

Some had high hopes

that genetic engineering...

would correct this

trend in evolution.

But sadly, the greatest minds

and resources...

were focused on conquering hair loss

and prolonging erections.

[ Orangutan Chattering ]

Meanwhile, the population exploded,

and intelligence continued to decline...

until humanity was incapable

of solving even its most basic problems.

Like garbage, which had been stacked

for centuries with no plan whatsoever...

leading to the Great Garbage

Avalanche of 2505...

which would set in motion the events

that would change the world forever.

[ Backup Warning Beeping ]

- Hold on.

- [ Man On TV] Next, on The Violence Channel...

an all-new Owl My Ballsl

[ Screaming ]

- All right. [ Chuckling ]

- [ Beeping ]

- [ Snarling ]

- [ Screaming ]

[ Chuckling ]

[ Groans ]

[ Man Watching TV]

That guy got hit in the balls.

Ow, my balls!

- [ Groans ]

- [ Man On TV Screaming ]

Huh?

[ Groaning ]

- [ TV. :
Tires Squealing, Man Screaming ]

- [ Man Watching TVLaughs ]

- [Joe] Where's-

- Hold on. Shut up!

[ Man Laughing ]

[ Tires Squealing ]

- Where's Officer Collins?

- Shut up!

[ Man On TV] Next week on Ow! My Balls! ,

Hormel goes to Rarisl

- Are we on base?

- I'm gonna base your ass on my fist.

In your face, ass!

Shut up.

I'm sorry. It's just-

Where am I?

Shut up!

I told you already!

[ Flushes ]

Yeah! Wouldn't shut up!

Come in here

and not shut up.

Yeah, you were like,

"I'm not shuttin'up,"and I was like-

[ Narrator]

Unaware of what year it was...

Joe wandered the streets,

desperate for help.

But the English language

had deteriorated...

into a hybrid ofhillbilly, valley girl,

inner-city slang and various grunts.

- Joe was able to understand them...

- [ Indistinct ]

But when he spoke

in an ordinary voice...

he sounded pompous

and faggy to them.

[ Man On R.A.]

Raging Doc-[ Slurring ]

Report to, uh-

Dr. Lueboo...

uh, report.

- Your floor-Your floor is now clean.

- [ Beeping ]

Your floor-

Your floor is now clean.

Your floor-

Your floor is now clean.

Hi, uh, I was in an army experiment,

and I'm not feeling so well.

I think it might have been

the drugs they had me on.

I've been hallucinating.

My head is just killin'me.

My-My-My joints

are all achy and l-

Is this a hospital or-

- Actually, I don't even know where I am.

- [ Beeps ]

[ Electronic Voice] Rlease proceed

to the diagnostic area on the right...

- and have a healthy dayl

- Oh. Thanks.

Thank youl

Uh, 'scuse me. I think this

might be Gatorade or somethin'.

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