I Love You, Beth Cooper Page #5

Oh, please.

(GRUNTING)

(LAUGHING)

- Are you okay?

DENIS:
Yeah, I'm great.

I need ice!

Okay, let's see.

Frozen peas.

Really? Okay.

And frozen peas.

Frozen peas. Frozen peas.

Anything cold.

Okay, here. Something cold.

Here, come here.

Okay, here we go.

I'm sorry I'm so pathetic.

Let me tell you something:

All boys are pathetic.

Well, then I apologize

on behalf of all boys.

And sorry

for all the wars and stuff.

You're funny.

How does that feel?

(MO ANS)

Pretty good, I guess.

(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY

AND LAUGHING)

(GRUNTING)

Did you hurt

your back?

Oh. Hee, hee.

Yeah, I hurt my back.

Ah. Ooh!

(STAMMERING)

Party balloons.

- Those aren't party balloons.

- I know what they are.

So, is this what you

had planned for tonight?

No, those are my dad's.

Your dad's not hiding in

the closet or something?

Oh, I hate that.

This was fun.

DENIS:
No, come on. Stick around.

Okay, no, you can't go.

No, wait, wait, wait.

I mean, we've still got

wine to drink. 23 bottles.

Oh, wine reminds me

of Jesus.

You know what, Denis,

we really do have to go.

This was a great party, though.

(WAGNER'S " RIDE OF THE

VALKYRIES" PLAYS ON SPEAKERS)

Oh, sh*t, Kevin.

He triangulated

your cell phone.

(GIGGLING)

(GASPS)

We're gonna need

more waffles.

Sean, you naughty boy.

No, no, no, no.

- Nobody move.

- Why?

Because he is going to kill me.

The most he's gonna do

is beat you up a little.

Lisbee! Lisbee,

open this door!

The windows! Secure the windows!

(DENIS SCREAMING)

Get out here!

Is he always like this?

This is new behavior,

but not surprising.

He's kind of cute.

Kind of.

(DOOR CREAKS)

Oh, my God.

Don't be afraid, I can handle this.

I wasn't afraid.

Why would you think I was afraid?

Congratulations, you found me.

Interesting situation

we have here.

Have you been doing coke?

KEVIN:

Not now, Lisbee.

He's coked up?

That is not one

of the good drugs.

Hey!

Aunt Brenda gave us that!

Prepare to die.

Okay, that's Mandy Patinkin in The

Princess Bride, Rob Reiner, 1987.

Also the same line

was used by Emperor Zurg...

BETH:

Oh, my God!

(SCREAMING)

BETH:

Stop it! Stop!

Now, this is willful damage

to property!

That's a legal term!

Go!

Kevin, stop!

Hey, hey, hey.

No, Denis! Have you ever seen

any of the Friday The 13ths?

You run upstairs, you die!

A weapon,

we need a weapon.

RICH:
Oh, my God.

Find weapons. Aah!

(THUDDING ON DOOR)

RICH:

Denis!

I know what you're thinking.

And, yes, this is

a polycarbonate blade.

(GRUNTING)

I took some workshops

at the Star Wars convention.

Dr. McCoy.

That used to be a person,

so you show some respect!

Rich, I need your help.

Come out of the closet!

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes