How to Murder Your Wife Page #4

I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know.

"If you can keep your head

"when all around are losing theirs

and blaming it on you..."

In fact, you're right, Charles.

We have nothing to worry about at all.

I've already explained

the situation to the young lady.

I've told her "I expect you to be on an

airplane to Las Vegas this afternoon."

Well, that's absolutely marvellous, sir!

But what was the young lady's reaction?

A little difficult to say.

She doesn't seem to... speak English.

Charles?

Charles?

Charles?!

Good God!

Doesn't speak English?

Yet, on the other hand,

if one will go around

marrying persons

who pop out of cakes,

it's bound to be, well,

rather catch as catch can, isn't it, sir?

Charles?

Surely you can realise

how ridiculous this whole thing is.

I'll call Harold Lampson, run down, see him

and it'll all be straightened out.

Charles, I promise you by three o'clock

afternoon, she'll be on a plane to Vegas.

Yeah, hi! How are you?

- Really, sir?

- Really.

Now, just go back to your room,

your beautiful room where you've been

so happy with your books and music.

- Hmm?

- Well, uh...

Unpack, Charles.

Nothing has changed. I promise you.

Dinner at the usual time, Charles?

For one?

Please, Charles.

Ah, avanti, avanti!

Oh, there you are, you're all dressed. Good.

You... you, uh... wait outside

while I get dressed, huh, you know?

And then you, me, we, uh...

go talk-um lawyer.

Uh, cinq minutes.

All right?

Oh. Harold, I'm in trouble.

Deep... I don't think it's

anything you can't handle.

I'm in terrible, terrible trouble.

Worse than that, Harold. I'm...

I'm...

married.

- 'Married?!'

- That's right, I'm married.

'Married?!'

All OK.

- OK!

- No!

Not now. There's lots to do.

Lawyer's office. Gotta go there.

Come on. Work out a separation.

Get you a lawyer in Las Vegas.

Hotel reservations...

Oh, good morning, Mr Ford!

Oh, congratulations.

Congratulations!

And buongiorno, Mrs Ford. Mrs Lampson's

on her way up from the country.

Mr Lampson, they're here!

Well, well, I wanna see the little lady

that finally nailed old Stan.

You don't mind if I kiss the bride,

do you?

- No.

- Congratulations, MRS Ford.

- Congratulations.

- Oh, grazie, grazie, grazie tanto.

My God, you're right. She is Italian.

You mean that she doesn't speak

A-N-Y E-N-G-L-l-S-H?

Not one word.

Not a word?

You lucky devil.

Harold, will you please?

We've got one million things to do.

- Get her an airplane!

- You've got to make out a new will.

- Get her a lawyer in Vegas.

- Got to get your physical.

- My what?

- Your physical.

I'm gonna have Doctor...

come and check you out right here.

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