How to Murder Your Wife Page #5

- Only take a moment.

- What are you talking about?!

I am talking to you about insurance.

Insurance, Stan. You are...

That'll be enough, thank you.

You may go now.

You're a married man now,

with responsibilities. Now...

- What if you were to get hit by a truck?

- Not gonna get hit by a truck!

The point is this...

No matter what happens to you,

you are going to want to know

that Mrs Ford...

Mrs Ford...

I love the way that sounds, believe me,

is being cared for.

All I want to know is that Mrs Ford is

on an airplane to Las Vegas this afternoon!

Oh, Stanley, caro, caro, no.

Oh, please. Will you please?

An affectionate little thing

you've got there, lad.

- Look at them. Aren't they adorable?

- Never thought I'd live to see the day.

Edna, my love, this is Stan's wife.

Oh.

Italian. Doesn't speak a W-O-R-D of English.

Oh, Mrs Ford, this MY wife.

But she speak mucho good Italian,

go Berlitz, take lessons.

Learn Italian. $300 worth.

$300 is many, many lira.

Yeah, shut up, Harold.

You sound like a feeble-minded Indian.

- Congratulazioni, mia cara.

- Oh.

Harold, it's very simple. I want

an annulment. I do not like being married.

How do you know if you haven't tried it?

I've tried it!

If you've tried it,

then it's too late to get an annulment.

Your wife has a cute sense of humour.

You know what she said?

She said that she met you

when she came out of a cake.

That's right. She did.

- Sue her for divorce!

- How?

- Well, reason with her!

- How?

You do sound like a feeble-minded Indian.

Ask her what she was doing

coming out of that cake in the first place.

Oh, s, um...

What she say?

What she... what she say?

She said that... that was the only job she

could get because her clothes were stolen.

Oh, the good doctor.

- Harold...

- Stan, you know Dr Bentley.

He's here to give you your physical.

Let me get this straight. Who stole

her clothes? Who stole le clothes?

- What she say? - All her clothes were

stolen by Miss Lapland, whoever she may be.

All right, Stanley,

if you'll just slip off your jacket.

Who is? Ask her who is...

40 times oughta do it for someone your age.

What is your age?

How old do you have to be to get a divorce?!

Tell this lunatic I don't want insurance,

but a divorce.

- Divorce?! Divorce?

- Yes.

Ah, no, no. Italia, no divorce, no.

What did she say?

Can you please find out? Now, come on,

ask her where did all of this happen?

Where... Dov'e, dov'e?

Aha! Miss Galay concorso. Galay.

- What did she say?

- Miss Galay contest.

- I think that's what she said.

- Miss Galay contest?

S, s, look! Look.

- Oh.

- Hmm?

What did she say? Hmm?

Uh...

Ah.

Uh, well, uh... Wow.

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