How to Get Ahead in Advertising Page #3

to think of something else.

- OK.

- And don't go near your office.

Just see Bristol and come home.

- Are you sure you can't wait for me?

- Sorry, I can't, darling.

Get Bristol on the line and

tell him I'm coming in to see him now.

Yeah. Have him call me later.

Sorry to keep you waiting, Bagley.

I didn't expect you till four o'clock.

- Here, take a look at this.

- What is it?

It's a photostat of an arse

from a copying machine.

- Don't recognise it, do you?

- Not offhand, no.

You gave the juniors

a bit of a tongue-lashing yesterday.

- Really?

- Said you went over the top.

I haven't got time

to give lessons in advertising.

They asked my opinion, and I gave it.

In my opinion,

they'd completely missed the brief.

I think you're probably right.

Not now, Sheila.

As a matter of fact, I think you

helped them out. About 15 minutes.

Anyway. That's not actually

what I wanted to talk about.

How are we getting on

with the pimple cream?

Five minutes.

Is it special? 555-0472.

- Sensational.

- Can you give me a verbal peek?

- You know me, John. I'd rather not.

- That's what I thought.

No, Los Angeles 555-0472.

I'm very pleased to hear it,

because I'll tell you frankly,

they were on the phone this morning,

threatening to pull the account.

Anyone but you and they would.

It's finished. Just a fine-tune.

I'll be through over the weekend.

Can we diarise on that?

- Of course.

- Wonderful. Wonderful.

Yes. Put him through.

Mmm? Mm-hm.

Really? Why so fast?

Really?

What happened to Seymour,

Hickwash, Bone, Riddle and Gore?

Really?

What about OCDS?

Wh... Is it a kipper?

Oh, that's interesting.

What a complete range of dinners.

Frozen kippers...

Just hang on a second, Bagley.

No. He's here now. I'll ask him.

No, no, he's finished.

He'll be through Monday, for sure.

Hang on a sec, Eddie.

Can you handle a Monday pitch?

It's a quickie. You'd have to go in dry.

- What's the product?

- It's a boil-in-a-bag.

- You all right. Bagley?

- Yes, I'm fine.

Tell him OK. I'll be in

first thing Monday morning.

You must stop worrying.

If a boil pops up, force yourself

to think of something else.

You're absolutely right.

I'm absolutely not

gonna think about boils,

large boils, blind boils or fat girls' boils,

till ten o'clock tomorrow morning.

What about large, blind,

fat girls with boils?

I see the police have made

another lightning raid.

- Paddington drug orgy.

- Huh.

I suppose young girls was involved?

"One discovered naked in the kitchen,

"breasts smeared with peanut butter.

"The police took away a bag containing

15 grams of cannabis resin.

"It may also contain

a quantity of heroin."

Or a pork pie.

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