Hot Property Page #4

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Um, right

what have I got for you?

What do... well-the...

Okay, here's the thing, Melsy,

you are what we like to call

in the headhunting industry...

um... a person...

who I cannot get a job for.

Charlie, you tapped me up,

three weeks ago,

saying that you could get me

a job anywhere.

Yeah, I did, but that

was before you went around

stealing from your employer

and blackmailing him,

you know, which, all in all,

makes you look

like a bit of a crook.

I'm just being honest.

Thank you very much.

I won intelligence monthly's

industry's most promising

this year and 2013.

That is a prize that they give to the

most successfully duplicitous person

under the age of 30

in an industry that's based

on nicking

other people's information.

They want crooks.

Okay.

Between me and you, the economy

is awful at the moment.

Charlie, I'm about

to be evicted.

You've got a lovely figure.

Why don't you become an escort?

What? Is that the advice

you give to all your clients?

Only my fit ones...

who are otherwise

completely unemployable.

Or you could be a drug dealer,

except you'd trouble

with the police

and it's

bad for the environment.

Sell a kidney?

Wow, thank you, Charlie.

Your help has been invaluable.

Aah.

I mean,

how would your mother feel?

So, how much for a kidney?

I'm f***in' ashamed of you.

According to the blood report,

technically you're not

even alive.

Go. Yeah.

Do you realize that

this line's recorded, yeah?

I can categorically state

that I do not intend to

and have never been involved in

any insider trading

or libel fixing.

Oh, come on, banker-boy,

surely you

and your little banker friends

must have fiddled the figures

at some time,

like that guy, Clive?

Why don't you just go to a job

center like a normal person?

Sam, I'm not a normal person.

There's no way I'm gonna go

to a job center.

You know, this whole thing

would be so much easier

if you just gave me 4,097...

Well, not gave,

lent me 4,097.53...

And I'm done.

Found it!

Excellent!

Ah.

What are you gonna use it for?

Sorry.

Sorry, it's a bit

of a bad line here.

I've just been on the phone

to the agent

and he said somebody pissed

on him.

Piss?! What, someone pissed

on his head?

Oh, god, that's awful.

Melody, Melody?

Melody, do you know

what a hostile tenant is?

Yeah, it's what they call it...

It's what they call it

when someone tries

to intentionally sabotage

the viewings, you understand?

Tommy,

why would I want

to sabotage the viewings, hm?

Tracker activated.

Okay.

So... really I don't need

to give you the keys

because I'm going to be

renting it very soon, anyway.

Oh, that's Lekker.

All I need is the full deposit

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