Homo Erectus Page #4

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Right?

- You're right.

OK, that's it.

Not quite, dad.

I have announcement to make.

Everybody, Fardart and me

are getting married.

Mazal Tov!

My worst nightmare come true.

If only I had told her how I felt sooner,

maybe things would've been different.

But it's too late now.

The love of my life was marrying my taller,

stronger, better looking brother.

There was nothing I could do about it.

There would never be another woman for me.

That night I had a dream.

Ishbo, I don't wanna be with Thudnik.

I wanna be with you.

Over here! Over here'

He is over here!

- Fardart, what're you doing?

- He's gotta get away! Hurry!

There he is!

Guys, I'm not a goddamn wolly mammoth.

Missed me.

This Fardart thing

was consuming my every thought.

I turn to my closest friends

for guidance and support but

Caveman are not known for their sensitivity.

Look, Ishbo, reality check:

Fardart is gone.

You were never in her league anyway, man.

Right, now you don't have to waste your time

with any flase hopes.

Look, your stud brother is marryin'.

And he's gonna be clubbin' her all day and all night.

So your mind will forget it.

- Yeah, get laid.

Dude, listen.

Fact that Fardart wants to

marry your idiot brother

just cause he's gonna be the

head of the tribe someday,

that don't sum it up nothing well.

She's a shallow b*tch.

You just whack one over the head

and get it over with, man.

I don't know. I just seems cold. Maybe if I was

just better looking than I could get girls.

Maybe they were right.

Maybe I was using excuses to mask my

deep seeded insecurities about women.

I was in a major depression.

This Fardart and Thudnik thing

had hit me in my deepest level.

Could it be that I never express my love for Fardart earlier

because I was afraid that she would accept it?

What a pathetic thought.

I was at my lowest point and

at a total lost is to what to do next.

That's when I saw, her.

Her name was Ugna.

I'd watch a grow up a gangly little girl.

But as if overnight,

she'd matured into a beautiful woman.

Suddenly, a surge of masculinity overtook me.

If Fardart was unavailable,

I couldn't just pine away hoping for some miracle.

Screw her!

I had to move on.

But the first time I felt a freedom

to express my manhood.

For Ugna was a woman right for the picking.

And I was a man hornier than sh*t.

After Ugna didn't appear at the storytelling,

a search party was sent to look for the next day.

Even though I felt terrible about what had happened,

I didn't see how it benefit anyone to confess

that I accidently knocked her off a cliff.

We found her.

Oh, my God, it's horrible.

- What happened?

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