Homo Erectus Page #3

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Now, you can do it.

you take her by the hair,

you drag her into the cave.

Very romantic.

OK, you try.

- I don't know.

I wanna make this one a little prettier for you.

You should be gotta wait for me

get out of the way that pumpkin.

Did you just trying to club me?

No, don't be ridiculous.

No.

Yes.

Ishbo, what are you trying to say?

Fardart, I love you.

I've been in love with you ever since we're children.

I've just been to afraid to do anything about it.

Out of fear of rejection,

fear of messing of our friendship.

And I know I'm not the biggest,

strongest member of the tribe,

but I know I can love you with

the power of the ten mastodonts.

You just give me chance, I know I can

make you the happiest girl on all of Pangea.

Oh, Ishbo.

You saved the best for last, ha?

I love you inspectin things.

See you comin'.

You're heavy.

There I was, surrounded by

hungry, wooly mammoths.

Everynight after dinner, the tribe

would gather around the campfire,

and listen to my uncle Unkie tell stories.

Giant dusks, bigger than my body.

Sharp as thorns.

Uncle Unkie was my fathers twin brother

and the tribes designated stroy teller.

These enormous beasts

and only one thought on their mind.

They kill me.

Night after night, he would regale

harrowing tales of his travels to forbidden places.

His words were a complex tapestry of twists and turns.

Holding the entire tribe captive

from the beginning to...

THE END.

Bravo uncle Unkie.

Bork, why the hell you're clapping so loud?

Are you kidding? I mean,

that story kicked ass, man.

He tells the same story every night.

So?

- So, he tells the exact same story every night.

He holds his goddamn hand out and

releases that mouse at the same time.

Everybody screams like

they don't know what's coming next.

Is it me? Am I crazy?

Wouldn't it be nice once to hear a new story?

This is very awkward.

Now look what've done.

Well, Mr. Bigshot inventor.

If you think you're

so much smarter than everybody else,

and why don't you just

invent a new story?

Allright.

Good evening throwbacks and gentleman.

It's great to be back at the cave.

I'm reminded tonight of why it is

that the ladies like caveman so much.

They know all the best clubs.

Is this thing on?

Hello? Hello?

Allright, what do you call two lesbian cavewoman?

Troglodykes.

Troglodykes!

Now, onto the tribal updates.

There's been some grumblings lately,

about the Binadraks unusual activity.

We've all seen the smoke

and we've heard the drums.

But, as our chief and tribal leader,

I can assure you there's nothing to be afraid of.

So, don't anybody panic.

They wouldn't dare try any shenanigans

after the ass-whoopin' we gave them last spring.

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