Holy Matrimony Page #3

Synopsis: A young couple, Havana & Peter, rob a county fair of its daily receipts and escape to Canada to hide out in the Hutterite community where Peter was raised. While there, they get married to satisfy the conservative elders in the community. Peter hides their loot in a secret hiding place, but then soon dies in a car wreck. His much younger brother Zeke is called upon to replace his brother and marry Havana. Zeke already hates Havana because he believes she is what changed his brother. She begins looking through everything that was Peter's, and Zeke rightly deduces that Peter hid something from her. He finds the money, along with a newspaper article that mentions Peter as the prime suspect in the robbery. Zeke initially uses the cash to trick his bride into doing housework. Later he shows it to the elders, who deem that it should be returned to its rightful owners. Zeke and Havana (who claims innocence of the source of the money) are sent on a quest back to the US to return the money.
Genre: Comedy, Crime
Director(s): Leonard Nimoy
Production: Buena Vista
 
IMDB:
5.1
PG-13
Year:
1994
93 min
110 Views


- Don't go screwing with my plan. | - We'd only be married a few weeks.

[Havana] | I'm not staying.! No, I'm not staying.

[Sighs]

[Man] Yes, there's a problem. Aproblem | with your performance in New Orleans.

You're goin' out | to pick up a robbery suspect.

Would you do me the courtesy | of checking the manual?

Look under "appropriate use | of Bureau personnel" before | you send a 30-year veteran...

- to do the job of a green-ass kid. | - Markowski, listen to me.

Your credibility is suspect; you are not | in New Orleans; you are not undercover;

you are in Iowa | and you are working for me.

And the manual says that I...

get to tell you what to do.

Robbin'a state fair?

Man, I used to be proud | to be an American.

You're going to Canada to bring | back PeterJakobson, his accomplice...

and the money.

This is the job. | You wanna do it, fine.

You don't; | Pension and Welfare down the hall.

[Crickets Chirping]

[Giggles]

Damn it!

Havana, come. It is our custom | to sew the dress for the wedding.

- We will take the measurements. | - All right, look.

If I'm gonna wear a little homemade number, | then at least I am designing it, okay?

This is what I want. I want a sweetheart | collar coming from a tight bodice.

- Two slits up the front. | - Oh, ja, ja.

- A long, long train coming | from a shiny satin bustle. | - Ja, ja.

- Can you guys do tassels? | - [All] Oh, ja.

- How 'bout ruffles? | - Ja, ja. Oh, ja.

- Yeah? | - Ja.

- What about pleats? | - Oh, ja.

Okay. | [Giggles]

[People Singing | In Hutterite German]

[Continues]

Begehrst du diese Schwester | gern anzunehmen...

[Wilhelm] | Als eine Gabe van den Hemm?

Do you accept this sister | as a gift from the Lord?

I do.

[Wilhelm] Begehrst du ihn inallen | goettinchen Dingen gehorsan zu sein...

Damit Eines den andern eine Ursach zum | Gutten und zur Gottseligkeit sine moechte?

Will you be obedient to your husband | in all spiritual matters...

and will you encourage | each other to lead godly lives?

Yes.

It's done. So, you | may kiss the bride.

[Clears Throat]

[Clears Throat]

[Bells Chiming]

[People Chattering]

[Men Chattering]

[Woman] | Eat well.

[Woman] | Eat well, father.

Psst.

[Woman] | Eat well.

Eat well, | Father.

- Eat well and choke. | - [Woman] Oh.!

[Chuckles] | She's... funny.

[Clears Throat]

[Spits]

[Car Horn Honks]

[Brakes Squeaking]

This car's goin' to town. | Anybody going better jump in.

Peter, when you were gone, | what did you do?

- Stuff. | - What kind of stuff?

I saw things. | I saw the world.

Different things.

Different people.

And out of all the women | you saw, you decided on Havana?

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David Weisberg

David Weisberg is an American screenwriter, best known for writing 1996 film The Rock, which he co-wrote with his writing partner Douglas Cook, who died on July 19, 2015. His other credits with Cook include Payoff, Holy Matrimony, Double Jeopardy and Criminal. They also wrote another action thriller script Blank Slate, which is currently un-produced at Bold Films. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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