Head Office Page #5

into your building this morning, I could feel

the spirit of the Lord flowing through these halls. thud! [breathing harshly] (Howard)

What do you want me to say? I've got 35 guys on hold;

I've got too many-- Look, what do you

want me to say? Your father is dead. There's no point in him

being in semi-private. He could be in Yankee Stadium! He doesn't have to be

in semi-private! The man is dead! Of course, the company's

got a policy! That doesn't mean

I'm going to cover for it! I've got 35 lines here!

I can't talk! It wasn't my fault;

I'll call you back. It wasn't my fault;

I'll call you back. It wasn't my fault.

It wasn't my fault. It wasn't my fault. (woman)

Hey! Hey. [growling] Was that--

Yeah, Frank. Lesson number four:

the secret to survival is, never make a decision. Never? Never. The minute you do,

you get screwed. I didn't make that decision! I have approved

somebody else's decision! I don't make decisions

like that! Do you know the difference

between decision approval? Call the guy

who made the decision! I just approved it! What are you guys

doing to me? You're killing me up there. I've got $72,000 Mercedes-Benz

that's leaking more oil than---Poland! I've got a dead father-in-law

who's pissed off because he's in semi-private! I got a cat in the hospital

that's costing me $100 a day! You guys are killing me up here! I'm dying here! I'm dying! [pump squeaking] I love this business. So you think you're

executive material, Jack? You mean,

can I play hardball? No, I mean

can you kiss ass? We'd better

get a move on. Gross'll have a heart attack

if you keep him waiting. Look, I'm afraid Mr. Gross

can't make the meeting. [woman on phone]

He can't be that busy. No, I wouldn't exactly call

what Mr. Gross is doing right now as being busy. Well, then what is he? He's dead.

He's dead. Let's make it

after lunch. Well, after lunch is

just as bad. Mr. Gross is dead. He'll still be dead after lunch. Look, Mr. Yonge

will be very upset. Yes, I know Mr. Yonge gets upset when we cancel

business meetings, but Mr. Gross has passed away. Passed away?

Dead? That's right. You mean really dead? No longer alive, correct. Try aspirin-- The man is dead. He's turning green as we speak. He's not going

to make it to lunch. He's not going

to make it to the meeting. If Mr. Yonge wants

to see Mr. Gross that badly, I'll ship Mr. Gross's body

down by internal mail. Oh. Gross screams a lot. You'll get used to him.

Right. You can live with him as long as you lift

your end of the load. Right. Lift. Right. Howard Gross is one of the best

PR men in the business. Been doing a hell of a job

for us for a lot of years. Real pressure player. Son of a b*tch,

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