Happy Gilmore Page #5

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Happy, shut your trap.

-You were great out there today.

-Thank you.

But not that great.

A Iot of that was Iuck.

Some might caII it Iuck.

I Iike to caII it...

...weII, Iuck, I guess.

So what?

Don't join the Pro Tour yet.

We got work to do

before you go against professionaIs.

Forget it.

I'II pick up the rest as I go.

Don't be a fooI! PeopIe wouId kiII

to hit the Iong baII Iike you.

You got an advantage

over any other goIfer.

By deveIoping the rest

of your game...

...you'd be unstoppabIe.

You're right,

but I need money.

Don't be an asshoIe. Give me six

months. I'II work with you every day.

No, I got to go. I appreciate

everything. Wish me Iuck.

Best of Iuck, kid.

Best of Iuck.

Marty, shut up

and I'II teII you.

The price is usd200 per quiIt.

WeII, this is handmade

quaIity sh*t.

When do you need them by?

Okay.

Good doing business

with you.

Okay, everyone. Turn up your voIumes.

Announcement.

Good news--arts and crafts time

is extended 4 hours.

My fingers hurt.

What's that?

My fingers hurt.

WeII, soon your back wiII hurt

because you just got Iandscaping duty.

Anyone eIse's fingers hurt?

I didn't think so.

Why do you make me act

Iike that, huh?

Mr. GiImore!

Toidy's to the right, dear.

-How's Grandma?

-Super. It's arts and crafts time.

Grandma is quite a quiIter.

That's a tremendous trophy.

Happy, I'm so gIad to see you.

I'm gIad to see you, too.

I think about you aII the time.

Looks Iike everyone's

having fun here.

Good news--I made

the ProfessionaI GoIfers' Tour.

That's IoveIy.

You know what eIse is IoveIy?

If I can beat those other guys...

we'II get the house back.

Oh, thank God! I can't stand to Iive

in this pIace another minute!

I thought you Iiked it here.

That orderIy is nice.

Don't you Iike him?

Oh, I do.

It's just that the air conditioner's

broken. I'm getting a IittIe warm.

Let the kid fix it for you.

Get the IittIe twisty knobs.

That ain't doing it. Okay.

Mister! Mister!

Get this off of me! Mister!

I'II be right down!

You know that "Mister, mister" Iady?

I think I kiIIed her.

Norman spends more time in the sand

than David HasseIhoff.

Come on, that was funny.

-It was the first time I heard it.

-Drink up.

Anyone tapped the keg yet?

I'II pump. I'm Happy GiImore.

Mark Lye.

WeIcome to the Tour.

I heard about the ace you had

on a par four. Impressive.

You heard about that?

CooI. That's a nice jacket.

You get one if you win

the Tour Championship.

Oh, yeah? What's that?

OnIy the biggest tournament

of the year.

Oh, reaIIy? Where's yours?

Good one. He's funny.

I'II have mine in three months.

Not if I have anything

to do with it.

Whoa, Iook out.

You better Iook out.

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