Gangsta Granny Page #4

It was a very long time ago.

You're a gangsta.

"Gangsta granny".

That's right.

We've got to get you blinged up.

You've got to get with the slang.

So the police are...

Bobbies?

Feds!

("Walk This Way" by

Aerosmith ft Run DMC plays)

Oh, and a "sick tune"

is a good song.

Perry Como.

He dropped some sick tunes.

Get me?

Imma gonna

jack your ice for shizza.

Well good.

Yes, I'm sounding quite

thugged out now.

For real. True dat, cuz.

These must be the most valuable

jewels in the world.

Oh, no. No, I never did get those.

Those? What were they?

It's Mr Parker outside the window!

I can't see.

I'm not going to chokey.

Ben, stall him. What? How?

But don't kill him.

Unless you really have to.

Suspicious amount of jewellery

on your grandmother.

I can explain.

By the power vested

in myself by myself,

I shall conduct a full

search of these premises.

You can't come in here. Why not?

Because...Granny's

doing her naked yoga.

A likely story!

Out of my way.

Madam, I demand to...

Mr Parker, I'm in the middle

of my tree pose.

Yes, but, but, but I mean...

Where are the jewels?

What are you talking about?

Hand them o...

Hand them over, or this will

become a matter for the police.

Oh, fine. And when they get here,

I'll report you.

What for? Spying on old ladies

in their underwear.

But you were fully clothed

when I looked through the window!

That's what they all say.

You've not heard the last of this.

Better put the jewels away.

OK, but first...

Yes, Ben?

You might want to put

some clothes on. Ooh, sorry.

Sorry, Ben. Sorry.

Ben?

Benno?

Ben-Ben!

Benny Ben.

The Ben man!

BEN!

Your mother needs to

talk to you about your outfit.

I don't really need a costume, do I?

You need something with zhuzh.

You need something with pizzazz.

Something that says,

"Everyone, look at me.

Look at me, everyone.

"And now!"

I've had...

I've had one or two ideas.

The love bomb.

Fruit cocktail.

Piano man.

The Quality Street.

Brian Cox's

Wonders of the Solar System.

The Hedgerow Ant Badger.

And, finally,

the Great British Bake-Off.

The recipe for success.

Oh, that's special.

You're special. Oh, stop it.

Can't I just wear jeans

and a t-shirt?

Ben...

The first one then.

The love bomb it is.

Now, I have to make

the trousers more flarey.

Do you think it needs more hearts?

I think it needs more hearts. Yeah.

Dad, can I ask you a question?

What? Nothing too taxing, please.

I was just wondering,

what is the most valuable

set of jewels in the world?

Oh, I know this one.

It was on Pointless.

The Crown Jewels.

Belongs to the Queen.

You got the crown thing...

The ball thing...

The stick thing.

Must be worth a fortune.

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