Funny Farm Page #4

This is Dr. Grail from the...

...Utilities Commission. May I speak with

the sheriff? We have a fire. It's urgent.

Nice try, Mr. Farmer.

Sheriff's office, please.

You gotta get up earlier in the morning

than that, Farmer.

I know the sound of two pennies being

dropped into a jelly jar when I hear it.

Listen to me. This is Elizabeth Farmer.

We have a corpse in the garden. Now

get ahold of the sheriff this very minute.

DIRK:

Yup.

That's a casket, all right.

See? It's nothing to be upset about. It's out

of the ground. It'll be gone in a moment.

What's this gonna cost me, fellas?

Dirk, what is our charge

for excavating mortal remains?

I guess we better bill them by the pound.

Careful, boy.

Don't look.

Take a look at this.

That's Claude Musselman.

- I recognize the glass eye.

- I knew it.

I knew Eula would get

the last word in somehow.

What do you mean?

Claude used to alley-cat around town

with a widow named Dorita Freeburger.

When he died, he left the house to Eula...

...and $10,000 to Dorita.

I guess that made Eula mad enough

to stuff Claude in this...

...cheap pine box

and plant him in the garden.

Having the last word's

real important around here.

Boys, take him over to the cemetery

and I'll see that he gets a proper burial.

LON:

Right away.

Ma'am, could I trouble you for

a shovel and some plastic GLAD Bags?

I'll get them.

ANDY:

Thanks for all your trouble.

I'd say the worst is behind you now,

but be careful where you dig in the future.

I believe Claude had a mule

that's still unaccounted for.

ANDY:

Thanks for the tip.

LEDBETTER:

Any other problems, just let me know.

ANDY:
No, I think that'll do it.

- No.

No. No, it won't.

Our mailman tried to run us down with his

truck and threw our mail out into the road.

You're on Crum Petree's route,

aren't you?

The problem is, your place is five miles

off his regular route.

By the time he gets all the way out to here,

he's pretty well liquored up and pissed off.

My advice is...

...learn to live with it.

- Well, I'll have a talk with him.

- Yes. You do that, Mr. Farmer.

You two have yourselves a nice little chat.

Ike, let's go.

Thank you, ma'am.

Does the sheriff always ride around

in a taxi?

Yup. Ever since he

flunked his driving test.

ELIZABETH:

Andy, have we made a terrible mistake?

ANDY:

Of course not.

I know things haven't gone

completely according to plan so far.

We just have to adjust our thinking.

We didn't move here

for a change of scenery, did we?

No.

We moved here for a change of heart.

But it's gonna take a little effort

on our parts.

Come on, what do you say?

Give it a chance.

Okay.

I'll make an effort.

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