Fred 2: Night of the Living Fred Page #9

I hope you're not mad I'm taking lessons.

Was that the puppet talking?

Okay, bye.

Puppet cooties.

Talia's under his spell, too!

Which in some ways is okay

because she's kind of creeping me out,

but still,

- what's happening?

- He's taking control of your life!

That's what's happening!

- Dad.

- And you've got to do something about it.

Cripes, Dad.

Language.

What should I do?

I'd light some scented candles,

maybe breathe through a damp cloth.

No, I'm talking about Devlin!

You're gonna suck his blood!

Suck his blood before he sucks yours.

Grab his head like this,

turn his neck sideways like this!

And then, you bite his neck and drink

that blood, that warm, thick, gooey blood.

You got to gulp it down,

like some red hot motor oil milkshake.

I mean, you got to drink

so much of that blood

that it smells like a hospital

and tastes like a dentist.

Fred? Fred?

- Sorry, I passed out.

- It's okay. Where was I?

Yeah, smells like a hospital

and tastes like a dentist.

Fred, Fred. Wake up!

You've got to prepare yourself.

First of all, vampires

hate baseball players,

so we got to find a bunch

of baseball players to help us out.

Yeah. Wait, what?

Vampires are always yelling

at baseball players.

I think you're thinking of umpires, Dad.

I still think a baseball player

may be of some use to us.

Okay.

All right, listen, you've gotta take

this guy on in public,

that way he's got no place to hide.

The recital's tonight,

and everyone's gonna be there.

That's the field of battle.

That's where he's going to turn everybody

into vampires!

And that's where I'm gonna take

a wooden stake and drive it into his heart!

Wait, you...

You're not really gonna stab him, are you?

- Well, yeah, he's a vampire, Dad.

- Good!

Just try not to get

any blood on your shirt, okay?

- Okay.

- Now, go.

Gather your forces!

- Take this, it will make you go faster.

- Okay. Thanks, Dad.

Bertha! Bertha! Bertha!

It's the recital, that's where he's...

Hello-ski!

- You're taking lessons?

- My mom's making me do it.

It's no big deal.

It's a very big deal. She's very talented.

Join the world, Fred.

I'm alone!

Everybody else has joined his evil world!

He crept into every corner of my life

and took over!

Now, I've got to take him on all by myself.

First, I'll need a cross,

a really big cross.

What are you doing?

Derf! What are you doing here?

There's a question already on the table.

I'm using this cross against a vampire.

Do you want to help?

- No.

- Okay. So...

How've you been, Derf?

You know, I've been pretty chilled.

Is that good?

- It's tight.

- Is that good?

- On point.

- Is that good?

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