Foreign Exchange Page #3

[loud thud]

God damn you.

You know, this is exactly

why I brought you all in here.

Your complete lack of respect

for anything important

is an insult

to every natural-born American.

I know you may want to coast

through your last semester

like the worthless

little parasites that you are,

suckling on the teat

of this United States

government-funded institution.

You remind me

of an itchy little rash

that you get one night

under the bleachers

with your dress

pulled over your head

and all your classmates yelling,

"Katie Rottencrotch!"

[whispering]

Rottencrotch?

Those wounds never heal.

But this is a beautiful school,

full of beautiful Americans

that shower every day,

and they don't speak

any other language

but good old-fashioned

American English.

You know, I don't know

who I want in this school less,

you four

or those burrito-munching

sand turds.

I have spent

my entire life being pro-life,

but I'm rethinking it now.

Get out.

(man)

Hashbrown,

are you with us on this problem?

Uh, yeah, yeah, sure.

Good, well, then I'm sure

you wouldn't mind

coming up

to help us out with it.

Word.

You skipped a grade, right, son?

Two actually.

I have a lot of friends

at M.I.T.

I'll put the good word

in for you if you want.

Actually, I'm going to State,

but thank you anyway.

State?

You're better than that.

Think about it.

So, Chelsea, you coming

to my party tonight?

I don't know.

Well, if you don't come,

I can't come.

It's your party, Jay.

Wouldn't you come anyway?

(Jay)

Probably,

but if you come,

I am guaranteed

to come.

Well, I want to come.

Who doesn't want to come?

Great, but it's not that easy

for me to just come.

There's a lot of work

to be done

before I can just come.

(Jay)

We can do that work together.

I'm just saying, you coming

will definitely

make me come without a doubt.

Even if I just heard you

say the words,

"Jay, I'm coming,"

that alone would probably

make me come.

Well, maybe I'll come.

(Jay) Maybe you will,

but from what I hear,

that's more up to the girl

than it is the guy.

[laughs]

What?

(Jay)

Nothing.

So, you coming?

Oh, I'm coming.

[driving rock music]

# #

(man)

Push it more.

Five more.

Five more.

You're looking swollen.

Yes.

Hey, Shantz, you want

to hop in here and get a set?

We can always use a third cock.

Damn it.

I got to graduate

with a 2.3 average

to get the scholarship.

Big deal, man.

Dude, you know

I have, like, a 1.9.

A little help.

A little help.

So her sister stumbles in,

and I'm like,

"b*tch, you wake him up,

you keep him up."

No.

It's true.

Hey, did I mention

she was a college chick?

See, sh*t like that

is gonna happen

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