Foreign Exchange Page #4

every day at State.

The fantastic fornicating four.

(Shantz) Hey, guys,

I got a problem.

We know, Shantz,

but herpes is not treatable.

Shut up, jerk-off.

I can still kick your ass.

Touch.

Look, it might only be

the three amigos.

I got to get my GPA up to a 2.3,

or I don't get in.

That's some sh*t.

Dude, Shantz,

you've got to be joking me.

In other words,

it's a sure thing, slam dunk.

I'm never gonna make it.

That's almost straight "A"s.

That's all "A"s

and a B-plus.

You're screwed

and not in a good way.

No, uh-uh.

We got to have faith, man.

Look, this is

what we've always wanted

since we were kids,

all right?

We're going to State

together.

Dave, Shantz, my man,

don't you worry.

From now on,

I will do all your papers,

and no more "B"s.

We'll get you there.

Thanks, man.

You know, I could probably

get my hands and some tests,

have Hashbrown

fill them out for you.

We'll make it happen.

- Thanks, guys.

(Dave) We'd never leave you hangin',

bro.

Next year, we'll be living up

the college life

with f***in' titties

and just drinking--

You smell that?

Smells like three-legged deer,

fellas.

Three-legged deer?

Easy prey.

(Dave) Oh, right, right,

I get it.

Anita?

Si.

You must be Jake.

It's a pleasure

to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Hey, guys,

this is Anita.

She's from Brazil.

So do you speak Brazilian,

or...

Mexican?

Spanish.

Portuguese.

Oh, I failed geology.

[laughs]

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Good morning, Gordon.

Listen, Drago,

it's Shantz, man,

Shantz, Shantz.

Okay?

What do we call you?

Emelianenko Tronovsky.

A million ankles?

Emelianenko.

Mil--

Screw it.

We're gonna call you

Russian Dude, okay?

Is that cool?

- Da.

Come meet the crew,

Russian Dude.

Hello, you must be--

Hashbrown, man.

Nice to meet you, Ganja.

Actually, it is Gan-ya.

Yeah, that's what I said.

Okay.

Hi, bonjour.

Which one of you

is Laurent?

Oh, no, I'm Sophie.

Oui, oui, Laurent.

Yes, Laurent.

Is she on the bus still?

No, no, I am--

me, I am Laurent.

You're--

Um, I think we're having

a miscommunication actually.

You see, you're a guy,

and my foreign exchange student

this hot blond

from France named

Laurent.

And plays soccer

and has a girlfriend.

F***.

You're the guy in the picture,

huh, not the girl?

Well, you are Dave, eh?

That's me.

[chuckles]

Besides yourself, Dave,

do you know where I can find

some American virgins?

Uh, no, no, I don't.

That's okay.

I will find them.

(Jay)

So, Anita,

why did you come

to America?

I come to study.

In Brazil, there is only so much

you can learn about America.

But to really learn

the economics,

the psychology, the politics,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes