Fist Fight Page #4

Yeah. But I'm so sorry.

I'm running late for my class.

Sorry about that.

Stop!

Don't you take another step.

One more step

and you'd have been covered in paint.

They've been putting 'em

all over the place.

Holy crap. It's like a trip wire and...

Oh, my God. You just saved me, man.

(CHUCKLES)

Why aren't they this ambitious

with their classwork, huh?

All right. You know what?

Yeah, I got a second.

Let's take a look at that AV.

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

So I'm trying to show the class

this Civil War documentary.

Damn school wouldn't purchase

my Ken Burns DVDs,

so I'm stuck with

this bullshit knock-off VHS.

Ah, it's a bummer.

Now, look. I push it in,

it comes on...

NARRATOR:
The troops called him

Old Whittington.

It plays for a minute and then...

- Huh! Yeah, that's really weird.

- (SNICKERING)

Eight times, I asked for a DVD player.

No response.

I'm this close to going up there

and going postal on the whole

goddamn administration.

This close.

(CHUCKLES)

Yikes. Yeah.

Well, you know what?

Maybe you just wanna give 'em

a free period and call it a day.

A free period?

What good would that do?

Oh, you know, it's the last day of school

and I'm sure they'd like you for it,

and this isn't working, so...

I don't need to be liked.

I need to educate.

You see, half of these kids

thought the Civil War

was a fight between Batman and Superman.

So, we don't get free periods.

Ain't that right?

No free periods

in Mr. Strickland's history class, right?

ALL:
Right.

- Right?

- Right.

Right. Good. Strong...

Strong point. I'll give it another look.

Yeah, I mean if you wanna...

You're gonna have to take

the manual out, because I think...

All right, I'm gonna start

from the beginning.

First I'm gonna power on the...

- Was that you?

- No. I thought that was you.

No, I didn't push the button.

- That was you.

- No, that wasn't me.

- I'm not pushing the button yet.

- (SNICKERING SOFTLY)

Are you sure you're not hitting it

by accident, or...

STRICKLAND:
No.

(SNICKERING)

You know what?

I'm gonna go down to the next step.

Maybe I'll just power on the...

- NARRATOR:
Farewell, you bastard.

- A-ha!

I think I see what's going on here.

Mr. Strickland, you are

the victim of a senior prank.

(CAMPBELL CLAPPING)

Very funny, you guys. Very, very funny.

I believe this young man is manipulating

the television with his cell phone.

Kind of caught him out of

the corner of my eye there.

He's doing this?

- Yeah.

- You doing it?

Give it to me.

Now!

You think this is funny?

Messing with the TV with your

goddamn computer telephone?

No, I'm not the one doing it.

I'mma show you what's funny.

Everybody,

I want you to hashtag L-M-F-A...

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