Fist Fight Page #5

- O!

- (STUDENTS GASP)

Now, there will be no more

interruptions in my class.

None!

We're gonna watch

this beautiful documentary

on the Civil War,

and it's not Tupac versus Biggie.

NARRATOR:
He lost a leg at Gettysburg

and an arm at Chickamauga.

But his blood thirst remained unquenched.

Okay. Uh...

We got it going,

so I'm gonna go back to class.

Hey, man. Shut up.

I said no interruptions.

Be a f***ing example for the kids, man.

NARRATOR:
It was going to be

a long winter.

He had to amputate his son's leg

with nothing but a bayonet

and a box of matches.

Families were increasingly

facing hard decisions.

(MOUTHING) What the f***?

(MOUTHING) Do it.

(MOUTHING) No!

(GRUNTS) All right. Who did that?

Who did it?

Who did that?

Who did it?

It was you! It was you, wasn't it?

Give me that phone!

I don't have one.

You just broke mine, remember?

Okay. Okay.

God damn it. I'm tired of this sh*t.

(DOOR SLAMS)

Uh, I don't know what's happening.

- (ALL GASP)

- Get out of here!

Oh, sh*t! Okay, I have the phone.

I have the phone.

(GROWLING)

(YELLING)

(PANTING)

Remember, teachers stick together.

Yeah.

Okay.

(SIGHS)

I don't have time for this today.

I've got 30 termination

meetings today alone.

Everything in my office

is glued to something else.

I got drawers filled,

filled with Silly String. You see that?

And I got a goddamn mariachi band

following me around wherever I go!

(PLAYING MARIACHI MUSIC)

I offered them $100

and they still won't leave.

I think they thought it was a tip.

And now I've got 20 students

running out of a classroom in a panic.

Students telling me that Neil's desk

has been smashed to pieces,

presumably by a fire ax,

and you're telling me

that you haven't seen anything today?

Yeah.

How about you, Strickland? Huh? Nothing?

Like I said before, Tyler,

I was too busy working out

that piece of sh*t VCR

that this school is still using.

I know you teachers all like

to stick together. I get it.

But I'm having to fire whole departments.

That's hard on me, too.

Wait, whole departments?

Yeah. Entire departments.

Well, uh, I mean...

Maybe the best thing

to do is talk to Neil?

Oh, I did. Yeah.

Neil's not talkin' either.

So, then I went back to this.

I'm back to needing a straight answer

from one of you two.

Right.

Let me bottom-line this for you.

Someone's going down for this.

I'm firing one of you two today.

Tell you what,

how about we'll go one better.

How about I fire you both?

He did it.

You did it.

I mean, you did do it, so...

He did it.

That's what happened, was you...

'Cause he, you know,

chopped the desk.

Which you probably shouldn't have done.

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