Fancy Pants Page #4

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right away.

Humphrey.

I've been looking for you.

- I wanna chew the fat.

- So soon after tea, mum?

- What do they pay you around here?

- Sufficient, mum.

How about sufficient

and then some?

Are you trying to lure me

from the service of his lordship?

- Exactly!

- Impossible!

I couldn't desert his lordship.

It wouldn't be cricket.

My family always buttled

for the Brinsteads.

My father, my father's father,

my father's father's father.

I could go farther.

More reason you should work for me.

You're in a rut.

Please, mum,

pursue the matter no further.

Even now, the ancestors

are beginning to scowl at me.

- Who's that?

- Great-grandfather, Lord Cedric.

Made a name for himself

in the army.

What's he reaching in his shirt for?

Holding up his trousers

from the inside.

Funny way to pose.

Much funnier if he removed

his hand, mum.

Listen, Humphrey, hanging around

these pictures ain't getting you nothing.

Here's my card.

Drop in my hotel and we'll work out

a deal. Double your salary.

Don't tempt me, mum.

I can resist anything but temptation.

I got a whim of iron, Humphrey.

When I want any...

Wow!

Wow, indeed, mum.

Great-great-grandmother,

splendid horsewoman.

- Did she always ride like that?

- Heavens to Betsy, no.

Lots of times she rode sidesaddle.

Back home in Big Squaw,

she'd be arrested.

She was. That's how she met

great-great-grandfather.

He was the magistrate.

Well, I'll have to carry on, mum.

Now, this hand rests

just lightly on the cue.

- Oh, lightly?

- Oh, yes, lightly.

Of course, this is a game

taught all over England.

Most popular sport.

Playing it or teaching it?

- You know, Agatha...

- What?

You're the most exciting person

I've ever met.

If I only knew the right words,

if I only knew what to do...

May I be of service, milord?

- Shortcut. Sherry, milady?

- Well, don't mind if I do.

- Sherry, milord?

- No, nothing for me, thank you.

- Scotch and soda, milord?

- Nothing at all.

- Scotch and water, milord?

- No.

- A soda and water, milord?

- Nothing at all.

Water and water?

- Scotch over ice, milord?

- Nothing.

Scotch over scotch?

- That will be all.

- Care to play musical glasses?

- They're fun.

- I don't want anything to drink.

Shall I draw the blinds, milord?

Draw your bath?

- Draw your picture?

- Look, Humphrey,

draw whatever you like,

but somewhere else.

- Somewhere else.

- Yes, milord.

Shall I chalk the mum's cue, milord?

Why don't we just give up

until he winds down.

Yes.

I'm terribly sorry.

Now, Agatha, as I was saying...

Announcing Sir Wimbley,

Mrs. Floud, Lady Rosalind...

You should've been with me, Aggie.

Earl's been telling me

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