Fancy Pants Page #5

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all about something.

Oh, billiards!

May I serve the refreshments, mum?

Thank you.

- You know, Aggie...

- What?

I bet Humphrey would make

a gentleman out of your pa.

Take that home with us?

Ma, you got bats in your belfry?

I don't care. I'm gonna get

that Humphrey somehow.

- Oh, Ma.

- If Lady Maude would only fire him.

- Pa would feed him to the pigs.

- Shoot your pool.

- Punch, mum?

- I don't want any.

Well-spiked, mum.

A little punch, mum? Make you feel

fit as a tiddly and ready to wink.

Punch, milady?

- Thank you.

- Thank you.

You... You... Get out!

You're discharged.

You're fired. You're through!

And don't you ever come back.

Not tonight, tomorrow night or ever!

Now, get out!

- It was an accident, milord.

- Get out!

I know, get out. I know.

Big Squaw.

- Hiya, Mike.

- Hi.

- Howdy, Mr. Floud.

- Howdy.

Hey, Pa.

Now, look here, Cart.

You stop calling me "Pa"!

- What do you hear from Aggie?

- She's on her way home.

Hey, what's this here

"gentleman's gentleman"?

Same as a man's man.

Gentleman's gentleman.

Such a gentleman, even gentlemen

think he's a gentleman.

Well, he'd better not interfere

in my plans.

Aggie and me's getting married

as quick as she gets back.

- That's settled.

- Maybe it ain't settled with Aggie.

Ma wrote that some earl was making

goo-goo eyes at her.

And if that's him, you're in trouble.

You mean he's in trouble.

I'm gonna be meeting that train.

You won't need that clean shirt,

because the earl

ain't never gonna see it, Pa.

Don't call me Pa!

Ma, look. Cart Belknap.

Oh, it's rocky...

- Hi, Cart.

- Cheerio.

- Get away from my girl.

- Well...

- Oh, she just...

- Quiet, junior.

Cart, you let him alone!

Wait, we're going through a tunnel.

Nobody's marrying Aggie but me.

Please, no dancing in here. Please!

Cart!

- Please, we've never been introduced.

- Oh, Cart!

Only a coward hits a coward.

Cart!

- Go get him, Aggie!

- Oh, Ma, let him go.

Go get him!

You don't have to worry.

He jumped.

I hope he jumps

all the way back to England.

Well, you're gonna go get him.

I brought him this far in first-class

condition, ain't gonna lose him now.

I won't do it!

If I bring him back alive, you're

gonna have him riding herd on me.

Git!

Water.

Water!

Water. Water.

I'm going mad. Water! Water!

Mirage. The heat.

I'm going mad!

Water.

Water.

Seltzer. Water. Anything.

He must be drunk.

Buzzards.

Indians. Indians!

Hey, fancy pants!

What's the matter with you?

Have you gone loco?

No time to explain.

Here, hide behind there.

I'll bluff them. I'll defy them.

I'll run!

We'll die together.

What are you raving about,

you knucklehead?

Indians. Midget Indians!

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