Fancy Pants Page #3

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all about his father.

I hope they find it relaxing here

at Brinstead Manor. Eh, Mother?

- Yes, indeed I do.

- Yes.

Milord? Please.

Cigarette.

Holder.

Light.

That's more service than our

hired man gives us in a month

back in Big Squaw.

Well, Humphrey anticipates

my every wish.

How often do you have to

wind him up?

Wind him up? Oh, wind him up.

Very funny. Jolly good.

- That'll be all. Thank you, Humphrey.

- Thank you.

Well, Mother?

I must compliment George

on his taste.

You know, most young American

tourists are so, so uncouth.

Ain't it the truth. Ain't it, Aggie?

Oh, yeah.

Let's get out of here.

Tennis, anyone?

How can you think of tennis

at a time like this?

Sorry. Thought it was my cue.

Cyril, you forget we have guests.

Mrs. Floud, Miss Floud,

my nephew, Lord Cyril.

How do you do?

- Aggie.

- What?

How do you do?

You'll have to forgive Cyril. Tennis

has become an obsession with him.

Yes.

- How about tea, Mother?

- Oh, of course, dear.

I'll ring.

Did you ring, mum?

I was about to, Humphrey.

Why didn't you wait till I rang?

Imbecile.

Ham.

You know, earl, this is the first time

I ever saw a real English butler.

I saw one in a play.

It was in Cheyenne.

We threw tomatoes at him.

And now we brew some tea.

- Which shall it be?

- What's the difference?

Rather fancy Indian tea is a vital

concoction during inclement weather.

Whereas the Chinese importation

screams with stimulation.

- What did he say?

- Oh, he said,

"Fancy Indian tea is a vital concoction

during inclement weather,

"while Chinese importation

has vital stimulation." Milady?

- That's telling her, Humphrey.

- Thank you.

A knife. Do you have a...? Oh, no.

May I?

This part's the strainer.

Freshly sliced lemon?

Two points.

- One lump or two?

- I'd love two,

but I've been eating so high up on

the hog lately I'd better just take one.

In that case, may I suggest...?

- May I slosh it around a bit, mum?

- Please do.

And so, teatime.

Would you...?

Spot of tea, milady?

Soaked to the skin again!

There's your big splash, Ma.

You shouldn't do that.

Haven't you got any sense at all?

Well, he told me to relax.

You stupid, blundering oaf.

I told you his performance...

- Mater, mater! Please!

- It's piping hot, mum.

How did you ever get to be

such an idiot?

Just early to bed, early to rise.

That's the answer.

Better do something with this.

Unfortunate occurrence

of an unpreventable nature.

Would highly recommend

a cold bath...

- Oh, shut up!

- Oh, no.

You, don't stand there.

Get out and do something.

- Yes, mum. I'll fetch some fresh tea.

- Oh, dear, look at me.

Oh, dear.

Come. I'll help you to change

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