Failure to Launch Page #6

Now, if that sounds good to you,

then maybe you're sailors.

This is not a hobby. This...

It's a lifestyle.

Well, now that is passion!

- What has happened to you?

- What's happened to me?

I want to feel the wind.

I do not want to feel...

I want to make the wind, okay? Look...

- Make the wind?

- Yeah. I'm not a sailor.

You don't make wind

sitting on a boat in a dock.

I'm a power guy. Power.

Like "power boat."

- You're a power guy?

- Excuse me.

- I want to feel that beneath...

- Guys who drink Kahlua and cream

are not power guys, honey.

Tripp.

Whoa, slow down, slow down, Paula.

Mr. Fritz was my best friend

since he was a little puppy.

Just a little fur ball.

He was too small

to even jump up on the bed

and now he's...

He's...

Got a tissue or something?

- He saved my life, you know.

- He did?

And now I can't do

anything for him, and I...

Oh, sh*t.

I'm so glad you're here.

Yeah, of course I am.

Can I have a minute alone with him?

Thank you.

- I'll be right outside.

- Okay.

Thanks, Gretchen.

Anytime.

Gosh, Emotional Crisis Day

is so critical.

I cry, he cries.

It totally bonds us.

So how long do you think

he's gonna sleep for?

Half an hour.

He's only here for some dental work.

Oh. What's his real name, anyway?

I don't know.

I just clean their teeth

and chop their balls off.

God, that is so sad.

Yeah, it was a beautiful dog, man.

She was devastated.

Well, this is exactly what she needs.

Good choice.

- There she is. Hey, Paula.

- Hi.

Paula, these are my good friends,

Demo and Ace. Guys, Paula.

Hi, it's nice to meet you.

- I'm so sorry for your loss.

- Come on, don't.

Thank you.

- Nice suit. How you doing?

- Thank you. Hi.

You know, most guys would've

sent flowers, chocolates maybe,

but I gotta say,

I did not see this coming.

Well, you know,

anybody can send flowers, Paula.

Now, I'm going to let you in

on "the" secret.

It's called the "finger roll."

Quick fingers, light on the trigger.

See, double trigger...

More paintballs in less time

means victory.

Let's see it.

When you're out there today

and you got these paintballs

flying at you at over 200 miles an hour,

I guarantee you will not be thinking

about the late, great Mr. Fritz.

Holy moly. They really move that fast?

Oh, my God!

I'm so sorry!

Nice shot!

- Oh, thanks.

- He's okay.

Let's go shoot some strangers, huh?

First one to paint the skirt gets a beer.

I think that guy just laughed at me.

Who are these guys?

They go by "Devil Babies."

They finished third

in the National Championship.

This should be an excellent test

of our skills.

- Wait. These guys are champions?

- All right, all right.

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