Everybody Wants To Be Italian Page #5

OK. Listen.

Just, please, please tell me

that you got her phone number...

- so we can smack some sense into you.

- Yeah.

- l'm gonna cry, Pops.

- Unbelievable.

A man should cry.

l can't believe this.

How could you screw that up?

- Yes.

- You were so stupid!

Hi, guys.

- Hi.

- Hey, how you doing?

So, this is it, huh?

This is...this is it. This is...fish heaven.

Anything you desire from

the eastern seaboard, we got it here.

- Aldo Tempesti.

- Hi. Marisa.

So...

You forgot to ask for my number.

So l thought l'd...

- Loser!

- The freakin' number!

- Just in case.

- Yeah, no, yeah. This is...

This is great. You...

That's pretty...pretty handwriting.

Thank you.

OK.

You know what? Let's just

close the deal right here.

l make his hours, so...

Oh, he's available tonight.

He's got tomorrow night off.

The whole week off.

- You can call me when you want.

- No. He didn't take your number.

lt's out of his hands. Tomorrow?

No, tomorrow night's

not really good for me.

- Stay out of this, would you?

- Actually, next week is better for me.

Next week.

Tuesday's looking real good for me.

l was...l was thinking,

maybe more Monday.

At around... l don't know, seven...

- 7:
30?

- 7:
30.

- Monday.

- Monday.

Perfect. OK.

Monday it is.

- OK.

- All right.

- l'll see you then.

- See you then.

OK. Bye.

- Let me get that door for you.

- Thank you.

Yes!

Thank you.

Thanks for coming in.

- Don't screw this up.

- l'm not gonna screw anything up.

Come on. Hey! You're all thinking

with your little men, huh?

This is a big, big mistake.

This is an ltalian woman,

and ltalian women have brothers.

Oh, it's all fun and games...

until somebody loses a testicle!

That's not funny.

Tell you about my cousin Luigi, eh?

- Yeah, cousin Eunuch.

- Ah! Cousin Eunuch, see?

- He make joke, now.

- Senza Cazzo, we call him.

Get to work. A**hole.

- l want candy.

- No candy.

- Candy apples.

- Aww, l want candy!

Yeah, and what else?

- lsabella!

- Oh, God.

Oh, my God, this is so weird.

What are you doing here?

- What am l doing here?

- Yeah.

- Stay away, Jake. l mean it.

- What? Come on.

lt's the commons.

l'm just passing through.

Hey, you and me are soulmates.

l have kids, Jake, and lots of 'em.

l love kids. Plus, the big one's

probably mine anyway.

Hey. Hey! What? Did you ever

have them genetically tested?

Unreal! You know, you're unreal.

He was born 1 2 months

after we last did it.

So you say. l know. Whatever.

Come on. What's it gonna take?

Jake, please.

Please let me spare you your dignity.

But...l'm not gonna take no for an answer.

- Excuse me, sweetie.

- l'm not!

What...

What is wrong with your kids?

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