Everybody Wants To Be Italian Page #4

- Very bright.

- Great sense of humor.

- lntelligent.

- OK.

- Loves children.

- Really?

- Loves kids.

- Great with them.

- Yeah.

- l like that.

- We did well.

l think we did.

Oh, here he comes. Here he comes.

Hey, the prodigal son returns.

Jerk one, jerk two.

Thank you, l'll take that as a compliment.

- To beauty.

- To beauty!

- Beauty.

- And the beasts.

So, l'm probably glad

l missed everything so far.

Why would you say that, Jake?

We were just talking about true love.

Marisa here, believe it or not,

does not believe in soulmates.

- She thinks it's bullshit.

- l didn't say that.

- Yes, you did.

- No, l didn't.

Yes, you did!

Don't listen to them. They're busting on me

'cause l believe in true love.

Well, me too. And l happen

to believe in soulmates.

Oh, come on, that is such a crock.

lt is, 'cause at any given time,

any two people can get together.

They just have to know

that each other exists.

Life is never-ending chaos,

with people struggling to exist.

- Now, that's deep.

- Thank you.

- He knows psychology.

- l do.

Look, let me just put it

in simpler terms for you.

Simple being the operative word.

Now, take you, for example.

- You're a hot piece of ass.

- Jeez.

So why aren't you selling underwear

in a Victoria's Secret catalogue?

- There's a point somewhere.

- l hope so.

- OK.

- lt's because nobody knows you exist.

But the right pictures

in the right people's hands...

next thing, you've got 1 3-year-olds

jacking off all over the world.

Why?

Because now they know you exist.

- l really apologize.

- Wow.

l thought there was

a point there somewhere.

No, l get it. l mean, it makes sense.

lt makes sense? Really?

- No, it doesn't.

- OK.

You know what?

Let me ask you a question. Why...

Why does a nice, attractive girl

like you come here...

to get hit on by the likes of them?

l don't know.

Maybe l'm just trying

to figure out what men exist.

Well. Maybe she just came

to find a nice ltalian man like Jake here.

They're not really my friends.

Ouch!

Ooh, l'm wounded. l am.

- So?

- So what?

- What happened?

- Let us live through you vicariously.

- She was sweet.

- Sweet? Chocolate's sweet!

This girl could knock the brass

off a doorknob with her smile!

Absolutely. What happened?

We had a nice evening, you know?

We spent some time together,

we talked a bit, small talk.

- And then...we went home.

- You went home?

- You nailed her at her place?

- Nothing like that.

Come on. You didn't...

You did.

You did, you did, you did, didn't you?

No, l didn't, l didn't, l didn't.

l didn't do anything.

What do you want me to say?

We had a nice time. She's nice.

But l'm still in love with lsabella.

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