Everybody Wants To Be Italian

Synopsis: Are all relationships based on lies? Jake Bianski runs a fish market in north Boston, surrounded by Italians. For years, he's carried a torch for Isabella, an ex-girlfriend now married with three children and no interest in Jake. Yet, he tells everyone she's his girlfriend, including Marisa, a veterinarian his employees set him up with at the Italian singles club. She's interested in him until he tells her about his girlfriend, then he's persistent in asking her to be his friend. As the friendship bumps along, Jake realizes that reality may be better than fantasy, but what if Isabella changes her mind about Jake, and what if it comes out that Marisa, like Jake, isn't Italian?
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Director(s): Jason Todd Ipson
Production: Roadside Attractions/Asgaard
Rotten Tomatoes:
105 min


This is the best, though, right?

This material?

- lt's gotta be perfect.

- Signor Bianchi.

This is the most beautiful suit in the world.

Can you have it ready by four?

Can you have it ready by four or not?

- lt's no problem.

- Sold.

All right, l'll see you at four. Thank you.

We give him this suit.

We change it out. lt's cheaper.

lt's his size, all ready to go,

he never notices.

lt's no big deal, OK?

How you doing?

All right? Nice to see you.


Beautiful, huh?

You, you're beautiful.

You're a lucky guy.

Hold this and don't leave.

Jackie, l can't take your money.

That one.

Every year it's the same. You come in here,

buy a ring for your anniversary...

and the same thing happens.

lt's a beautiful choice, but it ain't cheap.

She deserves the best.

What's the matter with you?

That's an expensive ring.

Why don't you let my cousin Frankie

put a zirconi on it?

l need this by four.

Kid, is this a joke?

By four?

What am l, a magician?

Get outta here!

What? Carla!

- lt's my grandmother's lipstick!

- How you doing?

What's up, Jake?

How you doing? Carla!

- You've got time to...

- He's my friend. Carla, please!

- Take care of your friend!

- Carla, please!

- How you doing, Sean?

- How are you?

- All right. Mikey!

- Hey, Jake!

- How are you?

- How are you?

- All right. Hey, Bill, Paul! What's up?

- Jackie, how are you?

l'm all right.

Good day to be in love, you know?

- Hey.

- Hey.

Gimme the bar, would you?

l want flowers so beautiful that these look

like they were lifted off a street vendor.

- This'll take days, and you give me what?

- Two hours.

- No way.

- l need 'em by four.

- l don't care.

- 4:
30, then.

- No.

- l gotta surprise her by five.

l am not gonna support your foolishness.

Theresa, you know l'm a loyal man...

but if not from you,

l'll get 'em from someone else.

You are a romantic fool.

And you make me

want to vomit, with this girl.

They'll be ready.

- Get outta here.

- Four o'clock.

Morning, fellas.

Nice of you to show up, Princess.

- Not that we're busy or anything.

- What you got for me?

Cut the heads off these

for Signora Fiorentino.

l can't. l'll take the register.

No fish work today.

Oh, no. l got the register.

Uh-uh. lt's the 19th of March, man.

- Are you out of your mind?

- Are you nuts?

What? What?

- Feels different.

- What?

ls this the suit l chose?

- What, you don't like it now?

- lt looks good, it's just...

- lt feels different, l don't know.

-Il signore looks fantastico, huh?

Good. 'Cause this guy feels beautiful,

like the sun.

lsabella, l love you more today

than l loved you when...

l loved...

lsabella, you're more beautiful to me than...

Your s...smell fresher...

That's ridiculous.

Hey! Mrs. Cordova.

How you been?

Always good...

l hate you, Mrs. Cordova.

Who is it?

lt's your dad. Buzz me up.

You're not my dad!

How do you know?

You ever been genetically tested?

Go play with your brothers.

- Jake.

- Happy anniversary!

- l got something for you.

- Do we have to do this every year?

Come on. Let me up.

This thing's burning a hole in my pocket.

l miss you so much. Just...

l just wanna talk.

Jake. What the hell are you doing?

- Yeah, what the hell are you doing?

- lt's our anniversary.

You don't have an anniversary, Jake.

She dumped you.

- Eight years ago.

- Eight years ago!

lt was a misunderstanding.

We'll work it out.

- A misunderstanding?

- l'm gonna get her back.

Jake, this is my family.

This is real.

This is between lsabella and me.

This doesn't concern you.

- She's my wife!

- She's my girlfriend!

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Jason Todd Ipson

Jason Todd Ipson (born July 28, 1972) is an American director, screenwriter, producer, fashion photographer and licensed physician and surgeon. Transitioning from surgical residency to the USC School of Cinematic Arts in 1999, he went on to form Asgaard Entertainment as well as write/direct the theatrically released feature films Unrest and Everybody Wants to be Italian. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Everybody Wants To Be Italian" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 27 Oct. 2020. <https://www.scripts.com/script/everybody_wants_to_be_italian_7801>.

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